Never Dick With A Goddess

For Richard, it started out as a normal Friday night. Sitting on his usual stool at the bar, knocking back drinks with his friends, and checking out the action. Basically, the same as every Friday night before. Until they came in.

"They" were a couple Richard had never seen before. The man was nothing special, at least in Richard's eyes. Tall, muscular, with a face some women might find attractive. Still, he'd seen a hundred others just like the guy. Richard dismissed him after a single glance.

The woman, however, was an entirely different story. As tall as her companion, beautifully proportioned, she had enough curves on her to make Lombard Street look straight by comparison. Add in the face of stunning beauty, framed by masses of honey colored hair, and she became every man's perfect woman. Her tight, form fitting gown, with its plunging neckline and long slit up the side, only enhanced the image.

Seeming to ignore the fact that every man in the bar, and more than a few of the women, were staring at her, the woman glided across the bar, lithely sinking into a chair at one of the tables. Her companion joined her, ordering drinks for both.

The table they'd chosen allowed Richard to get an almost perfect profile view of the woman. It was also close enough that he could hear them talking between songs on the jukebox. At first, their words were nothing special. From what he could tell, they were talking about a trip they'd taken to Greece, and how much things had changed. Then, as yet another song ended, he heard the words that would change his life.

"You know," the woman said, her voice soft and dulcet, "sometimes I think we've been together too long."

That was all he needed to hear. Acting with the courage brought on by several rounds of drinks, Richard rose to his feet and stepped over to the table. Leaning with both hands on the table, he couldn't help but stare down into the woman's abundant cleavage as he said, "I couldn't help but overhear that you might be looking for something new."

The woman looked up at him with a smile. "Indeed? And you believe you could be that something?"

"Absolutely." Richard cast a disdainful glance toward the woman's companion. "He looks fit enough, but I can do better." He grinned. "Hell," he added, "I could probably do more for you with my face than he can with his whole body."

The woman laughed lightly, the sound making Richard's knees feel weak. "Now, that is intriguing," she said. "Perhaps you and I should go somewhere and test this claim."

Stunned by the woman's quick agreement, Richard eagerly followed as she rose from her chair and moved to the door. Outside, she glanced around before turning her gaze on Richard.

"You have transport?"

Richard grinned. "Right this way," he said expansively. "Your chariot awaits." With this, he led her to his pride and joy, a classic Ford truck, lovingly restored. As she settled into the seat, the woman glanced around the interior.

"An interesting chariot indeed," she remarked. Grinning, Richard climbed behind the wheel and quickly drove to his house.

Inside, the woman glanced around the living room. "Interesting," she said again. Then, to Richards stunned delight, she shrugged off the straps of her gown, letting it fall to the floor. Naked, she stepped toward him.

"Now," she said softly, "let's see about that face of yours."

"Gladly," he replied, thinking, 'damn, she's so hot, she makes my tongue hard'. Indeed, it did seem harder than usual to get that one word out. "How would you like me to start?" These words seemed even more difficult to say. Puzzled, Richard reached up and touched his lips.

'What's going on?' he thought, brushing his fingers over his lips. Somehow, his mouth felt smaller than it should. Under his touch, he felt his lips growing slowly shorter, until only a smooth surface could be felt. Stunned, he stared at the woman.

"My," she said softly, "I feel better already."

Still searching with his fingers for his missing mouth, Richard struggled to ask what was happening, but all that came out was, "Nnnnnn? Nnnnnnn?" At this, the woman laughed.

"Perfect," she said, "wouldn't you agree?"

"Not quite," came another voice, as the woman's companion appeared beside her. "There is another improvement I can think of. After all, he did promise to do something for you with his face, didn't he?"

As he pondered the meaning of those words, something caught Richard's attention, drawing his eyes down. It was his nose. Somehow, it seemed to be getting longer. Staring, he watched as it grew steadily, until the tip was several inches from his face. Then it began to change shape, becoming rounder, with veins appearing just under the skin. As if to verify what his nose had become, a prominent head appeared at the end...

'A dick!", he thought dazedly. 'How did my nose turn into a dick?'

The woman laughed, clapping her hands with delight. "Oh, Ares, it's perfect! Now he really is a dickface!"

Ares? Seeing the puzzled look on what was left of Richard's face, the man laughed.

"Yes," he said, bowing slightly, "I am Ares, God of War. My companion, of course, is Aphrodite, the always beautiful Goddess of Love. I know, most mortals think we never existed, or that we've vanished somehow, but we're very real. We've simply retired." He grinned. "Much better this way, actually. No responsibilities, and much more time to play. But really," he went on, turning toward the woman he'd named Aphrodite, "do you like it?"

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "maybe if it were just a bit bigger." Immediately, the dick that had once been Richard's nose grew another two inches longer. "Perfect," Aphrodite exclaimed. "A huge prick with no balls. I think you've captured him perfectly."

"Not quite, I think." Ares smiled, and Richard's clothes vanished. As he stood, strangely unable to turn away, he felt something else changing. Reaching down, he was stunned to feel his own dick shrinking. Desperately, he groped for it, but it soon vanished, leaving in its place a softly furred mound.

"Oooh," Aphrodite purred, "I see what you mean. A big prick, no balls, and nothing but a pussy beneath it all. Besides," she added with a grin, "it lets you have some fun too."

Slowly, Ares began approaching Richard. As he did, Richard found himself stepping back, until he bumped against a table. Falling back, he found himself stretched out on the table, his ass perched on the very edge. Once there, he found himself unable to move at all.

Laughing, Aphrodite climbed onto the table, straddling his head. As she began to lower herself, Richard could see moisture already forming on lips that, from this angle, looked huge. For a second, she paused. Then, with one motion, she dropped her weight onto him, driving his nose/dick/whatever deep within her.

As she rested atop him, Richard's eyes were beginning to cross from what was so close to them. He could just see the top of her lips opening to surround what now separated them. Other than that, all he could see was her patch of honey colored hair.

"Nice," she purred, her hips beginning to move. Richard's eyes began to cross and uncross as her hips rose and fell slowly. For a second, he was afraid she'd suffocate him, but, somehow, he didn't need to breath. The feeble, "Nnnnnn. Nnnnn." that was the only sound he could make obviously didn't require air.

Now he felt his knees drawn apart, something nudging against their juncture. Before he could react, that something pushed into him, feeling as if it filled him completely.

"Nice down here, too," he heard. A second later, he felt the intruder begin thrusting into him slowly.

For long moments, the only sound was the feeble, helpless noise coming from the blank spot on Richard's face. Then, slowly, he began to hear female moans, interspersed with male grunts. The two atop him, obviously, were enjoying themselves.

And so, amazingly, was he. He could feel all of it. The tight, warm clench of muscles milking the dick that had once been his nose. His own muscles clenching and gripping the dick that thrust into where his own dick had once been. Amazingly, he was feeling both the male and female sides of sex, from different parts of his own body. As the two continued to ride him, his own body began to respond, his head rising to meet Aphrodite's plunging thrusts, his hips lifting to meet Ares.

Higher and higher, Richard could feel his arousal growing. His mind, lost in a swirling cloud of lust and need, had long since lost the ability to form coherent thought. When Ares finally spoke, Richard heard the words, but they had no meaning for him.

"I think," Ares said, "he's had enough. He is mortal, after all."

"I suppose you're right," Aphrodite sighed. "Well, in that case....." Her hips raised, then dropped one final time, resting her weight on Richard's face as her muscles clenched tightly. At the same time, Ares gave a final, mighty thrust between Richard's splayed legs. Under this twin assault, Richard's body exploded into the most massive, world shattering orgasm he'd ever known. A male orgasm, and a female one, at the same time, in the same body. Shattered by the overwhelming waves of two different kinds of pleasure, his mind quickly whirled into darkness.

Richard woke to find himself still atop the table. Staring dazedly at the ceiling, he realized something was different. Slowly, he reached up with one hand, finding his nose and mouth right where they were supposed to be. His other hand, reaching down, wrapped protectively around his dick.

'Yes, you're back to normal." Hearing this, Richard turned his head to see Aphrodite, once more wearing her gown, smiling at him. Beside her, Ares grinned.

"For now," he added. "But understand this. We went to that bar tonight for you. You have no respect for others, so we decided to show you some lack of respect, in our own way. I would suggest you learn from this. If you don't learn to treat others with respect, we may be back in a year or two to remind you."

For a moment, Richard stared at them silently. Then, slowly, he raised himself to a seated position on the table. "If you don't mind," he said softly, "may I make a request?"

Aphrodite's eyebrow lifted. "A request? And what might that be?"

Richard gazed back at her, thinking about what had just happened. "If I'm very good," he finally said, "do you think you both could come back sooner?"

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