Sole Man

(A Short Story)

Beginning.

“What…are you serious? Well fuck you then too. As a matter of fact Bobby, I know just what to do with you,” Kim said. I could hear her yelling and screaming over the phone.

Of course, I heard those words, “I know just what to do with you”, from her before. When I heard those words, I simply hung up on her afterwards. I went to bed, rather comfortable with my decision to go our separate ways…. but I had no idea that it would lead me into the very hell that I have experience now…. for perhaps three years or so. And what might that hell be? I have since that very next day after our argument, completely lost all concept of time. It’s not just been three years of hell….. but also three years of humiliation and degradation.

“Hello….. HELLO,” she yelled. It was apparent that her boyfriend Bobby had obviously hung up on her. I couldn’t see her at this time, but I could make out everything that she was saying. “Mmmmm…… you hung up on me….. actually that’s good. You must not have heard my last words. You will suffer like Lawrence is suffering now, and in just a few hours you will be another pathetic man added to my collection,” Kim said. I knew exactly what she was talking about….. for I’m Lawrence.

And so, these are a few things that I have reflected on just for the past fifteen minutes. The fact that Kim even mentioned my name startles me. It is the first time I heard her refer to me in three years. Any other time, long ago, she wouldn’t even acknowledge my existence as anything but what she had turned me into. What a terrible three years it’s been: the degradation, the boredom that never seemed to be less than prevalent, and of course the periodic reminder of just what it is I really am….. now!

The degradation! Three years ago, Kim and I argued much like her boyfriend Bobby did. I never thought for once that this is where it would lead me – life as nothing more than the entire left slip on flat mule of a pair she had purchased some time before we met. It’s funny, but I always had a foot fetish….. which eventually became something that I no longer have interest in thanks to Kim. Nothing could possibly be more degrading than this. I still remember my arrival to my current state.

I awoke early the morning that followed the night of our argument. The first thing that I noticed was this rather strange feeling I had. I couldn’t move my hands, my arms, my legs or my feet. I couldn’t turn my head right or left nor could I even nod my head up and down. It was dark all around me, and the only thing that seemed to so… obvious…. was the sound of a television on nearby. I knew enough at the time that I had more than eight hours sleep prior to waking up here, yet I still felt so tired – drained and near “worn out” as if I hadn’t rested in years.

“Worn out” – perhaps the perfect words for such a fucked up position! Although it wasn’t directly, but I realized that I was on my back after about thirty minutes or so in pondering on my whereabouts. None of it made any sense, and I even tried screaming for help but noticed that I couldn’t even speak. Something else was odd about this, though not at all odd to me at this point in life. I was able to tell, between commercials, the strange sounds that I was making myself with my breathing. In a way, I felt (and still feel at times) like was “Darth Vader”. My breath would hit something that covered my mouth. It felt like I was wearing a helmet but at that point, I just couldn’t see anything. And the more and more I would breath, the more and more the air would envelope itself around my face and nose. It was at this point that I was still unaware of where I was… and suddenly begun feeling that maybe it was a bad dream. But then there was something else that was very distinct.

I’ve heard of morning breath, or for some of us, that kind of breath we can smell after sleeping for a while. What I smelled was rather repulsive. As the air would hit this mask like object in front of me (of course I’m fully aware now that that wasn’t a mask), the air would not just hit my face but it would also envelope itself around my nose. I can remember the first time I smelled this odor (hardly no different than now). It was an interesting mix. I smelled the overwhelming scent of worn leather, slightly dazzled with a rather strong scent of vinegar – or better yet it smelled like hot garbage. The more I inhaled, the dizzier and dizzier I became. I really began to huff and puff at this point, for the smell was hideous. I noticed then as I huffed and puffed, it felt like my face was just filling with air…. but then would evaporate within minutes. This was an interesting feeling – so I remembered. Damn the feeling was indescribable. It was then that I knew something was wrong.

That moment, my mind was off the repulsive odor and more on the feeling that seemed to wreck my conscience. When I huffed and puffed it was more so out of panic. I noticed that when I did so, I felt like I had suddenly elevated to a height a hair from the position I found myself in. It was when I stopped that I found myself sunk back down into that position as if I belonged there. This was so extraordinary that it was something that couldn’t go without being checked out again. This time, I huffed and puffed again like I did out of panic due to the horrible stench that I had discovered. This time, my exhaling and inhaling seemed harder since my throat became dry instantly and my lungs became labored. It was as if I was breathing my last breath. I had successfully inflated again and elevated like I did before. Then, just like the last series, I ended up sinking right back down into my starting point. The whole feeling was just strange as if the mask that I spoke of was a part of me. At this point, I felt that I was dreaming – like I was dreaming about being something other than human.

More time went by, still in darkness and having to hear the sounds of a commercial on a television nearby. I still felt that I had been dreaming and was able to make out this sound of light snoring – as if someone was sleeping very close to me. I could have used any kind of excitement at this point – anything but the slight crack of light that I knew was a result of a television being on and this very odd feeling of nothingness!

The boredom! Usually, no one can be still in bed when awake or lying on their backs anywhere for a long period of time. This was just ridiculous. I wanted answers but couldn’t ask anyone anything only because I couldn’t speak. I was tired of only having a crack of television light…. but there didn’t seem to be anyone around to give that to me. The whole thing was just surreal. I would have taken anything at this point – even if it was someone that had just given me a stare but that just didn’t seem like it was going to happen. The boredom was constant. What I didn’t get though was how someone could sleep so comfortably without realizing the presence of someone else nearby. Then again, there was nothing human about any of this.

But then came the period in time where I would get my answer – where I was and who I was dealing with. It was actually not a reminder of what I am….. but more of an introduction to what I had become. Two hours had gone by and the voice of the one that was snoring I had finally heard…… and I knew just who it was – my ex-girlfriend Kim.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Everything was so bright – and I finally figured out just where I was. I was on my ex-girlfriends bedroom closet floor. I had gotten a glimpse of her as she entered her closet and grabbed a black dress and a pair of high heels….. that seemed to be positioned next to me. It was then I realized that I wasn’t dreaming thanks to the realness of it all. At the same time, I soon realized just what I had become.

Kim would never grab a dress from her closet unless she was going to church. Nearly two hours had gone by since I had seen her grab a dress from a hanger above. It was the perfect opportunity to get her attention for help….. but she acted as if she didn’t even notice me. I still couldn’t yell or speak so I was completely at a disadvantage. Anyway, since that moment, I was in the closet and I just knew that she had to have been in the shower.

Everything was just happening so fast. My ex-girlfriend, from what I could tell at that point from my position on the closet floor, was already ready to leave her home for church. I knew the way she walked, and it was easy for me to depict the fact that she already had her high heels on. Not just this, but I could just hear the sounds of her pantyhose clad inner thighs brush together. I had a bad feeling about this, especially when I remembered how her slip on black flat mules were always kept by her black high heels for a reason (those heels of course she always wore to church with the flats she wore heading home from church).

The closet door opened again in which I thought that Kim was trying to cut the light off. That wasn’t the only thing that she had decided to do. I looked up in horror as she bended down and picked me up from the floor. I had already knew that I was a shoe. The fact that I had become a shoe that she wore around the house or sometimes ran chores in, only brought fears to my heart. It was at that moment that she went so far as to place me and the matching shoe inside a carrying bag. And right before she zipped the bag only to close me out from the outside world, she had finally given me a sign that proved her awareness of my existence….. as nothing more than a shoe. She simply gave me a wink and perked her lips as if she were blowing me a kiss. I wanted so much to curse her out….. but then she began to close the bag…… placing me in darkness.

The next three hours dragged, as I began to get nervous about what would happen next. I knew that I was in a bag and I was also aware of the fact that the bag was in her car. Kim had gone on into church only after a fifteen minute drive. I had been in the car for nearly three hours – and it was summer time. The heat outside, I already know had to be horrible…. for it was just as unbearable inside the carrying bag. And regardless of how hot it was outside, I couldn’t sweat because I simply had no pores.

A few minutes later, I heard a door open and Kim’s voice, in conversation with someone on the phone. The bag was instantly snatched from the back seat, and I felt my whole world shifting violently on the inside. The bag suddenly opened and Kim’s hand quickly made its way on the inside. I knew what was coming, only because Kim would slip her feet out of her heels only to place them in on these shoes she has brought with her. To put it mildly, I was about to be worn. As many times as I have seen the flat slip on flats with a buckle that goes across the top, I never thought that I would end up being one of them….. for life – my face as her insole where my mouth and nose happens to be near the closed in area (where I knew it would stink the most).

She didn’t even bother savoring the moment, for all that I saw was her black pantyhose clad toes descending just past my eyes heading into the shoe. And then seconds later after feeling her toes slide down my face and then positioned on my mouth, her heel began to lower….. where it finally rested on my face. The taste… the sweat…. the smell…… regardless of it all, I was finally being worn by my ex-girlfriend Kim………

To Be Continued

17.12.12