"More than Numbers"
Chapter 1: A New Beginning
Nathan Fielding had always been more comfortable with numbers than with people. Raised on a remote hill farm in Cumbria, he had spent his childhood among rolling green pastures, the sharp bleats of sheep, and the steady rhythm of farm life. But numbers had fascinated him from an early age—their predictability, their logic. While his father and older brother worked the land, he had poured over textbooks, even by candlelight, during the British ‘winter of discontent’, his mind lost in equations far beyond his years.
At eighteen, he left the farm behind, earning a place at Oxford University to study mathematics. The transition had been jarring: from the windswept hills to the spires of academia, from isolation to the bustle of student life. But he had thrived, burying himself in his studies, excelling beyond expectation. Now, at twenty-two, he had secured a graduate trainee position at Manvers & Lowe, one of the ‘Big Eight’ prestigious London accountancy firms.
He had expected pressure, long hours, and high expectations. He had not expected her.
Chapter 2: The Enigma of Victoria Harper
Victoria was a woman who commanded attention. At forty, she was a partner in the firm, one of the most respected figures in the industry. Sharp-minded, ruthless in business, but charming when she wanted to be. She carried herself with an effortless confidence, her tailored suits and composed demeanour exuding authority.
Nathan was intimidated from the moment he stepped into her office for his introductory induction meeting.
"So, Nathan Fielding," she said, scanning his CV with interest. "First-class degree in Mathematics from Oxford. Top first in your year. I imagine you had your pick of firms—what made you choose Manvers & Lowe?"
He hesitated, unsure how to explain his reasoning. "I… I wanted somewhere that valued precision and discipline. Where skill matters more than… connections."
Her lips curved into a smile, and he felt the weight of her gaze on him. "Interesting answer."
And from that moment, she watched him.
Chapter 3: The Silent Observer
Nathan threw himself into his work, arriving early and leaving late. He was quiet, reserved, the kind of trainee who never spoke unless spoken to. Yet his brilliance spoke for him. Within weeks, he was solving complex financial problems that even some senior associates struggled with.
Victoria noticed everything. His meticulous approach, the way he hovered in the background of meetings but always had the right answers when called upon. But it wasn’t just his intelligence that intrigued her—it was him. The way his fingers twitched when he was nervous. The way he glanced away when spoken to directly, as if unaccustomed to attention.
One evening, she caught him alone in the break room, nursing a cup of tea.
"You don't drink coffee?" she asked, stepping beside him.
He shook his head. "I prefer tea."
"You're not from London, are you?"
He hesitated. "No. I grew up on a farm. In Cumbria."
She tilted her head, her interest deepening. "That’s quite a change of scenery."
He let out a small, almost self-conscious laugh. "It is."
For the first time, she saw something more than just the reserved, brilliant trainee. She saw the boy who had left home behind, who had traded the wide-open fields for sterile offices and endless calculations.
December 1984. It was the night of the firm’s annual Christmas gala, Nathen’s first. At Oxford he’d avoided black tie events like the plague, but now that wasn’t an option.
Nathan arrived in a hired black suit that made him look far too handsome for Victoria’s peace of mind. He stood awkwardly by the bar, nursing a drink, avoiding eye contact with the throngs of executives.
Victoria found him there. "You hate this, don’t you?"
He chuckled, a rare genuine laugh. "That obvious?"
She smiled, then—impulsively—reached out, adjusting his tie. "There. Better."
He stiffened at her touch but didn’t pull away. His breath came shallow, and suddenly, the air between them seemed charged.
"Victoria—" he began, but she cut him off.
‘No!’
But they both knew. A line, once so firm, had blurred slightly
Chapter 4: The Boss and Her Secrets
Nathan didn’t understand why she paid him so much attention. He was just her trainee intern—quiet, diligent, unremarkable except for his mathematical brilliance.
But Victoria had noticed him from day one. His reserved nature, his hesitance to meet her gaze, the way his fingers twitched when he was spoken to directly. He was different from the men she usually encountered—full of ego and ambition.
And he intrigued her.
Yet she had secrets of her own.
By day, she was a professional powerhouse. By night—particularly on weekends—she disappeared into another world. A world where she was not Victoria Harper, partner at Manvers & Lowe, but Mistress V, a woman revered in certain circles. A woman who controlled and conquered.
London’s underground fetish scene had been her sanctuary for years. In those dimly lit clubs, power was tangible, an unspoken currency. She had men at her feet, men who begged for her attention, her control.
No one at the firm knew. And no one ever would.
Chapter 5: The Unexpected Meeting
It happened by accident.
A Saturday night, and Victoria had slipped into her other life. She wore black—leather corset, thigh-high boots, her dark hair cascading down her back. The club, Nocturne, pulsed with low music, shadows flickering over velvet and steel.
She had just finished with one of her regulars—a city broker who knelt at her feet, his lips still trembling from the force of her words—when she saw him.
Nathan.
Standing near the bar, looking completely out of place.
Her heart stopped.
He was in a dark shirt, sleeves rolled up, hair tousled. He wasn’t participating—just watching. His gaze flickered over the scene before him, curiosity warring with hesitation.
He had no idea she was there.
Victoria’s breath came slow and steady, but inside, she burned with something foreign. Panic. Excitement. Possibility.
Nathan Fielding. Here.
Chapter 6: A Glimpse Into the Truth
For a long moment, she did nothing.
Then, deliberately, she moved toward him, heels clicking against the marble floor. When she stopped beside him, his head turned—and froze.
His lips parted. He blinked. Once. Twice. "Victoria?"
"Did you think you were the only one with secrets?" she murmured, amusement curling her lips.
His throat worked as he swallowed. "I—"
"You’re curious," she said softly. "Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here."
His fingers clenched at his side. "I don’t—"
She placed a single manicured finger against his lips, silencing him.
"You don’t have to explain anything to me, Nathan. Not yet."
His breath hitched.
She tilted her head, considering him. He was fascinated, even if he didn’t fully understand why. She saw it in the way his pupils dilated, the way his hands twitched, the way he held himself so still—too still.
It was the same way she had felt, years ago, when she had first stepped into this world.
"You should go home," she told him gently. "Think about what you really want."
He hesitated. Then, with one last lingering glance, he walked away.
Chapter 6: Confessions
The following Monday, things were different.
Nathan was distracted, stealing glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. But Victoria was always looking.
Finally, after another late night at the office, she spoke first.
"You’re distracted, Fielding."
He exhaled sharply. "How long?"
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. "Years."
"And no one knows?"
She smirked. "Of course not."
He ran a hand through his hair. "I don’t—I never thought…"
"That someone like me could want something like that?" she finished for him.
He nodded.
She moved closer. "And what about you, Nathan? Why were you there?"
His fingers curled into fists. "I don’t know."
"Yes, you do."
His breath came faster now.
She reached out, her fingers grazing his wrist. "Say it."
His lips parted. He struggled. But finally, in a whisper so quiet it was barely there—"I want to give in."
A slow smile spread across her face.
Chapter 7: Submission
They met again, outside the office.
It was different from her usual encounters—because it was Nathan. Because, despite his hesitance, he was eager to learn.
She took her time with him. She taught him.
In private, he was a contradiction—shy but desperate, resistant yet needing. He trembled at her touch, gasped at her words, but never pulled away.
And Victoria had never wanted anyone more.
Chapter 8: Breaking the Rules
But this was dangerous.
She had always kept her worlds separate. But Nathan blurred the lines, made her feel too much.
"You’re my boss," he murmured one night, as she traced her nails down his spine.
"I know," she whispered against his throat.
"We shouldn’t—"
"Do you want me to stop?"
A shuddering breath. "No."
He was hers now. And she was his, in a way she had never been with anyone before.
Chapter 9: The Risk of Falling
Nathan had left home for ambition, for numbers, for logic. He had never expected this—to fall for a woman who unravelled everything he thought he knew about himself.
And Victoria—who had spent years controlling everything, everyone—had never expected to lose control herself.
But that was exactly what was happening.
It wasn’t just about dominance, about submission. It was about them.
And that—that was the most dangerous thing of all.
Chapter 10: The Power in Surrender
Nathan had never been drawn to power. He had never understood the need to dominate, to assert control. But submission—that was different.
It had taken weeks for him to admit it to himself, longer still to say it out loud.
They were alone in her apartment, the city glowing beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows. Victoria sat on the leather couch, legs crossed, a glass of red wine in her hand. He stood before her, hands at his sides, a slight tremor in his fingers.
"Say it," she murmured, swirling her wine.
He swallowed. "I like pain."
She tilted her head, her eyes gleaming. "And what kind of pain do you like, Nathan?"
His breath came faster. "I don’t know. I just—when you…" He exhaled shakily. "When you push me, when you—when it hurts, but in a way that makes me feel owned. I want that."
She smiled then—slow, knowing. "You want to belong to me."
A shudder ran through him. "Yes."
She set down her glass. "Kneel."
He obeyed without hesitation.
Chapter 11: Testing Limits
Victoria had never taken a man like Nathan before.
He was untouched in so many ways, and yet, beneath the quiet exterior, she saw the raw hunger in him. He didn’t just want to surrender—he wanted to be broken apart and remade.
She started slowly.
A hand tangled in his hair, pulling his head back. A firm slap across his cheek—not hard, but enough to make him gasp. The first time she left red marks on his skin, he had shivered, his lips parting in something close to relief.
He didn’t resist. He never did.
But she wanted more.
"You’re holding back," she told him one night, tracing a whip across his bare back, her nails pressing into his shoulder.
He exhaled sharply. "I—I’m trying—"
"Don’t try, Nathan. Feel."
The first crack of the whip against his skin made him flinch—but he didn’t pull away. She watched, fascinated, as he gasped, his body tensing, then yielding. His pupils blown wide, his breath unsteady, his skin burning beneath her touch.
"Good boy," she murmured, and his entire body shook.
It was power, in a way she had never felt before.
Chapter 12: When Pain Becomes Pleasure
Nathan had always thought of pain as something to be endured. Hard winters in Cumbria. Harsh words from a father who never understood him. Long nights of loneliness.
But this—this was different.
Victoria had taken him apart piece by piece, showing him that pain wasn’t just about suffering. It was about release. About giving in.
He loved the sting of her nails on his back, the sharp crack of leather against his thighs, the way her voice could cut through him with a single command.
And she saw it.
"You take pain so beautifully," she whispered, her lips ghosting over the bruises she had left behind.
He shivered. "Because it’s from you."
Her breath caught.
She was losing herself in him.
Chapter 13: The High and the Fall
Victoria had rules. She had always kept her emotions in check, never letting a man become more than an outlet for her desires.
But Nathan was different.
She cared. More than she should.
And he—he was already hers.
But power was intoxicating. It blurred lines, twisted emotions into something dangerous.
"Push me," he begged one night, his wrists bound in silk, his breath ragged. "More. Please."
She obliged. Harder. Deeper. Further.
And in the aftermath, as he trembled in her arms, she realized he had taken her down with him.
Chapter 14: The Breaking Point
One night, she went too far.
Nathan had been exhausted—work had drained him, stress lining his features. But he had come to her anyway, kneeling without hesitation.
She had been rougher than usual, pushing him beyond his limits. And he had taken it all, his body writhing beneath her, his moans turning into something too raw, too vulnerable.
Afterward, he lay motionless, his breathing shallow.
She touched his face, something cold settling in her stomach. "Nathan?"
His eyes fluttered open. He looked at her, dazed, and whispered, "I don’t know who I am without this anymore."
Her chest tightened. Neither did she.
Chapter 15: Love or Power?
Victoria had spent years craving control. It had made her who she was—strong, untouchable.
But with Nathan, she wasn’t sure who had the power.
Chapter 16: The Cracks Begin to Show
Nathan was slipping.
It started gradually—small mistakes in spreadsheets, moments of hesitation in meetings. He was still brilliant, but the precision that had once set him apart was faltering.
At first, Victoria ignored it. She chose to ignore it.
She had never had a submissive like him before—so eager, so utterly devoted. In their world, he was perfect. He gave himself to her, let her push him past limits he never knew he had. He craved it. And she… she craved him.
But outside their world, the cracks were widening.
"Fielding," a senior associate snapped after a client meeting, "you’re all over the place. I expect better from an Oxford graduate."
Nathan muttered an apology, eyes downcast. Victoria sat across the boardroom table, watching him carefully.
"Get your head together," the associate added. "People are starting to wonder if you really belong here."
Nathan flinched.
Victoria said nothing. But later that night, as he knelt at her feet in her penthouse apartment, she studied the faint tremor in his hands.
"Are you struggling?" she asked softly, running her fingers through his hair.
He exhaled shakily. "No, Mistress. I’m fine."
Liar.
She cupped his chin, forcing him to meet her gaze. His eyes were shadowed, exhaustion creeping into every line of his face.
He was breaking.
And yet, when she pressed a nail into his cheek, when she dragged him to the floor and marked his skin with fire, he melted for her as he always did—lost, desperate, aching.
She should have stopped then.
She didn’t.
Chapter 17: The Warning Signs
It took James Calloway to make her see it clearly.
He was another partner—sharp-eyed, calculating, not easily fooled. One evening, after an internal review, he pulled her aside.
"That young graduate of yours," he said, sipping his whiskey. "He’s slipping."
Victoria’s expression didn’t change. "Nathan is young. He’ll adjust."
James smirked. "Perhaps. But I wonder—does he have distractions outside of work?"
She knew what he was implying. He had seen the way Nathan looked at her in the office when he thought no one was watching.
Victoria met his gaze coolly. "If he does, it’s none of your concern."
James chuckled. "Just a friendly observation. I’d hate to see a promising young mind get… led astray."
The words sat heavy in her chest long after the conversation ended.
That night, she found Nathan in her apartment, kneeling as he always did. Obedient. Waiting.
She should have asked him then if he was okay. She should have told him they needed to step back, find balance.
Instead, she said, "Strip."
And he obeyed.
Chapter 18: The Breaking Point
Nathan hit his lowest point two weeks later.
A major report was due, something that should have been easy for him. But he had miscalculated a crucial figure, a mistake that almost cost the firm millions.
It was Victoria who caught it.
In front of the partners, she covered for him—smoothly correcting the error, brushing off the mistake as a simple oversight. But later, behind closed doors, she turned on him.
"What the hell was that?" she demanded, arms crossed.
Nathan stood in front of her, jaw tight, shame bleeding into every part of him.
"I—I don’t know," he murmured. "I just—"
"You’re exhausted."
He swallowed hard. "I can handle it."
"No," she said sharply. "You can’t."
She could see it now—how the late nights, the bruises on his skin, the psychological toll of their dynamic had drained him.
He was crumbling.
And it was because of her.
Chapter 19: The Choice
That night, she sat him down. No commands. No dominance. Just Victoria and Nathan.
"You’re failing," she said bluntly.
He stiffened.
"I don’t mean just at work," she continued. "I mean you. You’re losing yourself."
His breath hitched. "I don’t want to lose this."
"I know," she murmured. "Neither do I."
A long silence stretched between them.
Then, she leaned forward, her voice quieter—gentler.
"Nathan," she said. "You have a choice."
He looked at her warily.
"You can stay at Manvers & Lowe. Rebuild your career. But if you do, we need to step back. We can’t keep going like this. Not at this intensity."
His hands clenched. "And the other option?"
Her lips curled slightly.
"You leave the firm," she said. "Give up the stress, the expectations. Move in with me. Be mine—fully. Completely."
His breath caught.
"I’ll take care of you," she whispered. "You won’t have to worry about work, about anything. You’ll be my property, Nathan. My full-time slave."
His heartbeat pounded in his ears.
"I would give you everything," she continued. "You wouldn’t have to think, to make decisions. You’d belong to me in every way you crave."
She reached out, trailing her fingers over his wrist.
"But if you choose that path," she murmured, "there’s no turning back."
Nathan closed his eyes.
It was everything he had fantasized about.
And yet…
The young boy who had left Cumbria for Oxford, the brilliant mathematician who had wanted to prove himself—he still existed somewhere inside him.
Did he want to belong to Victoria? Yes. God, yes.
But did he want to lose himself entirely?
He didn’t know.
And for the first time, submission felt like a burden instead of a release.
Chapter 20: The Decision
Victoria watched him struggle.
She knew she was asking for everything. And selfishly, she wanted him to say yes.
She had never had a man who was completely hers. She wanted to keep him, mould him, own him.
But deep down, she also knew—if he said yes, it would destroy something in him.
"Think carefully," she murmured. "I won’t ask twice."
Nathan opened his eyes.
And then—he made his choice.
That was in April 1987.
Epilogue: 2025
The rain is relentless tonight.
It rattles against the farmhouse windows, steady and unyielding, the way it always has. I’ve never minded the rain. It suits the land. Suits me.
I lean back in my chair, staring at the screen in front of me.
The End.
It doesn’t feel like an ending. Not really.
It’s the first time I’ve ever written it all down—the first time I’ve let myself relive it properly.
London. 1986. The Big Bang, the rise of the yuppies, cocaine and champagne and deals closed in the backrooms of private clubs. I had been twenty-three, fresh from Oxford, brilliant with numbers but hopeless with people
I take a sip of whiskey, letting the burn settle. Sixty years old now. A father, an ex-husband, a farmer once again. I’ve lived several lives. And yet—
I still dream only about her.
Victoria Harper.
I close my eyes, and I see her as she was then—immaculate, razor-sharp, untouchable. A woman who thrived in a world of men. My boss, my mentor, my Dominant.
My downfall.
I still remember the way she looked at me that night—the night she gave me the choice. The way she held me in the palm of her hand, waiting to see whether I would break for her completely.
I almost did.
God help me, I almost did.
Instead, I walked away.
I told myself it was the only choice. My career was already in trouble, my body was exhausted, my mind unravelling. I told myself I had to go, that I had to save myself. And Victoria—she let me. She didn’t beg, didn’t chase me down. She simply watched me go, and the next week, she was gone too. Transferred to New York. I never saw her again.
I returned to my work, repaired my reputation. And when my father fell ill in 1997, I left London behind, trading balance sheets for sheep, soil, and stone walls.
I married. Had two sons. Did what was expected of me.
And when it all fell apart—when the silence of the farmhouse stretched endlessly before me—I sometimes found myself wondering…
Did I make a mistake?
I could find her.
A simple search. A phone call.
But I don’t.
Instead, I close the laptop. The past is written now. Carved into words.
I rise, walking to the window, watching the mist roll in over the hills.
Victoria Harper is gone.
But the ghost of her still lingers, in the sharp edge of my own reflection, in the phantom touch I sometimes feel when I wake in the night.
And I know, without question—
She was the only woman who ever truly owned me. The only woman who ever truly knew me. The only woman I ever truly loved.
The End.