'You're a witch girl, and you've gone too far cause you know it don't matter anyway....'


Halloween on a Saturday night!  Party time!  I just love Halloween, the babes in tight little costumes, legs up to here, cleavage down to there, the drinks flying, inhibitions tossed to the wind.  Love it!

I was starting out in the early evening at one of my favorite watering holes, a little hole in the wall called Off The Wagon.  It wasn't much to look at, and I'm not sure I would even go in the men's room, much less use it.  But the beer was cheap, the company alright - for the most part - so it was my first stop.

Now, let me explain how the bar is set up, because, it's important, it's how I met Zooey. 

Rather than a long, rectangular bar against one wall, this place had a round one in the middle of the room, with seats all the way around it.  Over the top of the bar was a similar shaped set of cabinets and shelfs.  They hung the beer glasses from it, kept the liquor up there, and they also had a series of TV's every few yards.  So you could sit at the bar, have a drink!", stare straight across, and up a little and watch the games.  Currently there was a boring college football on, but it kept my attention, as the place was almost empty.

"What the hell are you staring at!?!"  I looked around to see if a fight might be breaking out - known to happen from time to time - but I didn't see anything.  "Hey asshole, why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer!"  Then I saw, sitting directly across from me, was a young women, not bad looking, staring at me, with fire in her eyes.  And what eyes they were.  Very intense, very blue, almost like cobalt, they were riveting. 

She also happen to have smoke coming out of her ears, she was royally pissed, and apparently  at me.  While I was deducing the situation she yelled a third time "Hey buddy, fuck you, who are you staring at!"  I just pointed up to the TV over my head, then pointed at the TV over her head, she looked up, saw it, turned several shades of red, hung her head, and hid behind he long dark brown hair.

I felt bad for her, so I had the bar tender mix up what ever she was drinking, and put it on my tab.  When he delivered it, she looked at me, still blushing brightly, she nodded and mouthed a thank you, then went back to hiding her face.

I waited a respectful amount of time checking her out.  Her eyes were very beautiful, very different, I don't think I'd ever seen that shade of blue before.  She had on a gray sweater, or dress, or a blouse, I couldn't tell, she was behind the bar.  Her skin was very pale, and the and the gray was the perfect contrast between her complexion and her eyes.  Oh, and she had a witches hat on her head, well, it was Halloween.

Then I decided what the hell, either I'd get lucky, or at least I'd get that first rejection of the evening over, so I stood up, grabbed my beer, and did my best amble over to where she was sitting.  She looked at me, blushed again, smiled a little, I asked if any one were sitting here (of course I knew there wasn't, but I always lead with politeness).  She whispered no, so I sat down.  Then she promptly went back to staring at her drink.  Not very social I thought to myself. 

But I did get the chance to check out the rest of her witch costume, which was a form fitting short sweater dress, matching gray tights, and matching gray ankle boots.  Very nice legs, and she was showing them off wonderfully.  I'm a leg guy, I was hooked.  I especially like a women in nylons, so close, yet just out of reach.  It's like a pretty girl, all gift wrapped.

So I started on the small talk, "Hi, I'm Phil, having a bad night?" 

She looked at me, smiled a little then mumbled "You could say that." 

First contact!  So I prodded a bit more "What's to be down over?  It's Saturday, it's Halloween, and you look like you're headed to a party?" 

"Yeah, I'm supposed to go to a party, but I'm not, so I'm sitting in this dump, killing time, and drinking myself into oblivion." 

"Well, you certainly picked the right place for that." 

She laughed.  First laugh!  And then she said, "Yep, that's why I picked this bar, it looks exactly how I feel right now.  In a dump."

Conversation officially started!

So I continued, "Well if you need a shoulder to cry on, I know the bar keep, and he's a lousy listener, so you can tell me if you want." 

She looked at me, brushed her hair behind her ears, smiled, and introduced herself.

Bingo!  I was in! 

She told me her name was Zooey.  It was her twenty first birthday tonight, and it was her party she wasn't going to.  Part of being a good shoulder to cry on means being a good listener, so I drank my beer, nodded from time to time, listened, and fell head over heels in love with her eyes. 

"The reason I'm not going to my own party is because I don't have a date.  And every one there knows it, and they know why, and I don't care to see them all smirking at me.  My boy friend since we were ten and I were finally going to do 'it' tonight, and now that's all pissed down the drain."  I thought either she'd been here drinking awhile, or wasn't very good at it, because you don't normally hear things like that from a complete stranger. 

"Well, what happened to your boy friend?" I asked.  The anger I'd seen earlier crept back into her eyes, but then subsided. 

"Because 'Brad' doesn't want to go out with me any more.  He said he's found his true calling." 

I paused to let her finish.  She took a big swill out of her drink, I signaled to the bar tender two more, and said "Well, considering how beautiful you are, and how great you look in that costume, he sounds like he's nuts."

She looked at me and mumbled "I wish.  Brad isn't nuts, he's...." and this part was funny.  She looked at me, did that dance jazz finger thing and very flamboyantly said "Brad isn't nuts, he's 'FABULOUS!'" 

"He's gay?" I added? 

"Queerer than a two dollar bill.  He left this morning to follow N'Sync tribute band on tour up and down the Jersey Shore.  He's so gay, every body knew it.  My friends all knew it, my family all knew it, every body in the whole freekin' world knew it, except me.  And if I go to that party, all I'm going to see are a bunch of people who can barely keep from laughing out loud at me."  Then she went back to hanging her head, and hiding behind her hair.

'Self,' I said to myself 'this is certainly out of the ordinary.'  "How long were you two together?" 

"Since we were ten." 

"That's a pretty long time to be together." I added. 

"It's a family tradition from the old country, my family is very traditional, relationships are arranged by our parents when we're ten, then at twenty one, we make the big move, get married, the whole nine yards."

"Well, I don't believe much in that arranged marriage stuff myself, and you can see why, because people ought to be with who they love, not with who they're told to be with." 

"Tell me about it." then she slugged her drink in one gulp and grabbed the second out of the bar tender's hand, and started in on that one.

"I know, but that's how my family has been doing it for like a zillion years, and wouldn't you know it, I'm the one who gets paired off with Perez Hilton."  I laughed, she laughed, we drank! 

Normally when you're at a bar, and letting some one cry and your shoulder, the process is they talk, you listen, nod from time to time, and drink.  But damn it, this girl was a mess, she needed some affirmation, so I gave her my opinion.  "Well..... if you ask me, Brad is nuts, your friends are assholes, and I'd guess the reason you couldn't tell he was 'FABULOUS' (aping her) is because you saw something else in him, that no one else saw." 

She looked at me, her eyes lit up - in a good way - she broke into a big, beautiful smile and said "Thank you, I've been wanting some one to say that since I read his kiss off letter this morning.  Delivered with flowers.  Pansies no less."  We both cracked up over that one. 

I'm not sure what came over me, but I broke the first rule of hitting on hot babes, I suggested she leave, with out me.  "You know what I think?  I think you ought to go to your party.  It's your party, it's your birthday, you have nothing to be ashamed of." 

She smiled, reached out and touched me, positively electric!  "That's sweet of you, but I don't think you understand the depth of the 'Brad' issue.  I mean, when he came over to visit, do you think any of my sisters or cousins would point out  Brad was a little different?  Hell no!  They'd invite him to watch 'Project Runway' or  'Ace of Cakes' with them, smirking at me behind my back.  I mean, what kind of male watches 'Project Runway' anyway?  Could I see that coming?  Hell no.  I can't take that kind of humiliation.  And just what the hell am I supposed to do with the rest of my life with Brad?"

So we drank some more, talked some more, I made some jokes, she laughed, we moved our bar stools closer together.  The evening flew by, it was almost magical, she was so easy to talk to, and so eager to talk.  As it got closer to 11:00 she finally said "Well I better get going, midnight is coming up, the witching hour and all that crap."  As she started to stand, she staggered a bit, I easily caught her in my arms, and she felt wonderful!

"I don't think you're in any shape to drive, or walk home for that matter." 

She stay nestled in my arms, leaning against my chest and slurred "I don't drive, can't you see I'm a witch, I'll fly on my broom."  making an exaggerated arc with her arm, almost falling over a second time. 

"Well, I don't want you with a 'flying under the influence' on my conscience, how about I drive?" 

At that point I think she started to fall asleep a bit, so I managed to get her address out of her before she started snoring.  I lead her out to my car - I'd only had about five beers in four hours, so I was fine.  I parked her in the passenger side of my car, buckled her in, and nearly got weak in the knees at her perfume.  This chic, quirky as she was, was captivating.  I dug out my map from the glove compartment and located her address, quite a drive, about 50 minutes or so one way, but there was no way I was going to leave her there and risk her trying to drive.

She slept for the ride, mumbling a few times, moving this way and that in the seat.  And I would be less than honest if I didn't admit I took the opportunity to check out her long, lovely, nylon encased legs.  Man, pure heaven!

Her 'address' turned out to be an old Victorian mansion, way out in the boondocks, in a much older part of the city.  And, by the way, much richer.  As I pulled into the driveway, there were several other cars, and the house appeared to be all decked out in Halloween decorations.  Very authentic ones too.  But I guess when you have a kid who's birthday is Halloween, you get used to making a big deal out of it. 

Then something strange happened, just as I was about to park, she sat bolt upright and appeared to be completely sober.  "I can't do this!" she said sounding scared. 

"All you're doing is going home, after spending the evening in the company of a magnificent, handsome, sterling young man, me."  and I smiled my best corny smile. 

"I can't do this." she repeated. 

"How about if I come in with you?  That way I can give you my number, so you can call me in the morning, and I'll take you back down to pick up your car?" 

"I don't have a car." she replied.  Crap, I thought, there goes that chance for seeing her again.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked me, sounding almost horrified. 

"Sure, I'd be more than happy to escort some one as lovely as you." again, cuing best corny smile. 

"Okay, just remember this is your idea.  What time is it?"  I glanced at my watch, almost midnight. 

"Shit, then we have to hurry."  And with that she was out of the car.  I had to jog to keep up with her. 

We reached the front door, and man, these people took their Halloween seriously.  This place looked like a movie set, minus the cameras.  Real bats flying through the trees (of course they probably lived in the near by woods), a bubbling cauldron on the front porch, then even had a hand full of black cats running around.  Inside it was dark, it smelled a bit dank, but I guessed that was some sort of room refresher stuff.  There were several other couples who were locked in slow dances to some weird kind of crazy music.  All eyes were on us, while they pretended to ignore us.  The women were all around Zooey's age, and were all wearing various forms of the same costume Zooey wore.  They guys were all dressed weird too.  Various suits, or tuxes, strange. 

Zooey sided up next to me, hooked her arm through me, held her head up high, and together we marched through all the stares, across the room.  Half way through, I stopped, took her hand, spun her around so we were face to face, and then I started dancing.  This was going to either come off very well, or I would blow it completely.  But as they say, no balls, no blue chips.

It worked, she snuggled up against my chest, I wrapped my arms around her waist, and we slow danced.  I glanced around the room and every eye was on us. 

When the song was over, she grabbed my hand, and guided me over to a grand stair case, and I do mean grand.  This place was huge.  Her family must be loaded.  I'm talking old money loaded.  It took a while to traverse the place, it was that large, we finally ended up on the third floor, in front of closed door.  Zooey stopped, she turned herself and myself till we were face to face, a mere few inches apart.  She looked at me longingly for as several minutes passed, my heart fluttered.  This chick was having a major, major, impact on me.  I don't normally fall for any girl, just get what I need and move on, but man, this was so different.

"I need to ask you one more time, are you sure you want to do this?"  I thought to myself, hmm, self I said, hot babe, appears to be filthy stinking rich, and if I'm reading this correctly, she's about to invite me into her bedroom for a 'fuck my ex,' night of mindless banging?  I think it took me about one-one millionth of a second to say "Yes."  She smiled, went up on her tip toes, and gave me a short, lovely, mouth watering kiss on the lips, then took me by the hand, opened the door, and lead me in.

She turned on the lights, closed and locked the door, and I got a look around.  Pretty wild room.  It was decorated like something out of the 1700 or 1800's.  Huge four post bed with a full canopy, antique furnishings, hand stitched comforter, this family was loaded.  This room alone must have cost a fortune to decorate.

She lead me over to the bottom of the bed, and sat me down.  Then she sank to her knees, and put her head in my lap.  Hello!  Woody time!  She slowly stood up, gently pushed me back so I was lying on the bed, with my feet still on the floor.  She took my arms and slowly stretched them out, like a 'Y', and then mumbled something in a language I've never heard before, maybe Scottish, Welsh, something Gaelic.  Then she slowly sank down to her knees again and started stroking me through my jeans. 

I went to prop myself up on my elbows to get a better view.  But I couldn't move.  What the hell?  I looked up at my wrists, there was nothing holding me in place, but I couldn't move.  "Um Zooey, um, something strange is...." She waved her hand and it felt like I had a big rubber ball gag in my mouth.  All I could do is mumble.  Which to be sure I did.  What the fuck was going on?  I hadn't drank all that much, but I was stuck.

She undid the belt on my pants, pulled them down to my knees, and started giving me the blow job of a life time.  Normally I'd think this was a good thing, but I couldn't move.  I lifted my head up, and directly in front of me, on the wall behind Zooey was a huge, really antique mirror.  And it wasn't the mirror that horrified me, it was the reflection coming from it. 

Everything in the room was the exact same, except for me.  I was totally naked, my wrists and ankles were bound by chains, and I had a huge ball gag harness shoved in my mouth.  Zooey looked different too.  Instead of her witch costume, she wore a blood red corset, black nylons, stilettos, and nothing much else.  To be sure I kept looking at myself and my reflection, expecting it to be normal, but it wasn't. 

Now, my pecker was doing its own thing.  If Zooey was a virgin, she certainly had practiced giving head before.  It was incredible.  I don't think I'd ever been that hard before.  It was almost as if I could feel the cum churning up in my balls.  I continued to struggle, making absolutely no progress against my invisible bonds. And Zooey just kept working my shaft.  Her tongue was out of this world. 

Then she slowly stood up again, she leaned over my body, kissed my forehead, put her finger over my lips and said "Shhhhhhh, this is a very complicated spell, I haven't done it before, and I need to get this exactly right."  She waved her hand, and a huge old book appeared out of thin air, floated next to her.  She spoke in that weird language again (Pict I would latter learn), and the book opened to a page. She began reading out load, more like chanting, and slowly slid down between my legs to continue blowing me. 

To say I was freaking out would be an under statement.  I yanked with all my strength, but was stuck fast.  Then Zooey started to finish me off.  My balls wanted to shoot so bad they actually ached.  Physically painful.  But I was powerless, then, just as I felt the cum start to spurt, everything flashed and changed, and I don't know what the hell happened, because everything looked different.  It looked and felt like I was in a dream.

I was no longer tied down, but it didn't matter, because I couldn't even feel my arms any more.  As a matter of fact, the only thing I could feel was an incredibly strong urge to orgasm.  I mean, I really needed to cum, I needed to cum a lot, and I needed to do it right now.  NOW!

I called to Zooey, and I heard my voice, but it wasn't my voice, it didn't sound like a person was speaking but I still heard it. 

"Phil, can you hear me?  Phil are you alright?" 

"Zooey?  Is that you?  Where am I?  What happened?" 

Then I saw her again, she was looking right at me, very close, yet still far away.  She had a huge smile on her face.  "It worked!  It Worked!  IT WORKED!"  and she began dancing around the room. 

"Zooey, what the hell happened?" 

"Relax Phil, you're fine.  You've, well, just changed.... a little." 

"How the fuck did I change, and what the fuck did I change into?"

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  "Phil, I changed you into my fertility phallic symbol." 

"What the fuck....." 

"Now, now, Phil, take it easy, you're safe, and you will be very well cared for." 

"What the fuck!!!!!!!!!!"

"Let me start from the beginning, I'm a witch.  A real witch.  The real deal.  We exist, and you better be glad we do.  Among other things, we keep nasty things in their own plane of existence.  With out us, the rest of humanity would be in a world of hurt.  The particular coven my family belongs to, has been doing this since before the time of the pyramids.  It's what we do, its what I was born to do.  This, and have at least one female child to pass my magical powers onto."

"That's why I had an arranged marriage to Brad, we was to be the father of my daughter.  But I guess Brad decided he didn't want to be the phallic symbol, he wanted his own, shoved up his ass.  Inconsiderate little prick.  The fate of civilization hanging in the balance, and he'd rather dance with some pool boy in fish net t-shirt."

"The way my particular coven works, is we obtain our full magical powers at age 21.  A little catch, we have to remain virgins.  Once we have sex, I become pregnant, and then my powers begin to transfer to my daughter.  Thousands of years ago, my coven decided they it was too hard to be completely celibate, so they came up with this spell.  We turn our betrothed into a, well, for lack of better term, a dildo.  Then we can pleasure ourselves with them, while technically not having intercourse with a male."

"Wha..... wha.... what are you  s...s...saying?  How come I can hear you, and how come you can hear me?"  "We can communicate because the spell creates a psychic bond between us.  What you think you're seeing is part of that bond.  You might be familiar with the term 'mind's eye'.  That's what you see."

"As I was saying, I'll be a front line witch fighter for forty years.  On my sixty first birthday, I will change you back, we'll finish what we started tonight, you will impregnate me, and then you are free to leave, I won't stop you.  I hope you won't, but I won't stop you."

"I going to stay this way for forty years, and then have sex with a sixty year old witch?  This is supposed to be the upside?" 

"Don't worry Phil, neither you nor I will age for the next forty years.  We'll both look and feel exactly as we do right now, err, make that just before all this."

"What if I don't want to do it, make that, I don't want to do that, I want you change me back this second!" 

"Oh Phil, you're so cute.  And big too!  You're going to be a real handful."  then she giggled at her own joke.  "Sorry Phil, that's the one down side, you don't have a choice.  Neither do I.  This is both our fates.  And let me tell you, when you're a witch, fate is a major, major, major issue.  It's not to be taken lightly.  There's a reason you were in that bar tonight.  That wasn't by chance.  It wasn't until we danced down stairs that I realized Brad was a jerk, you were chosen for me at the beginning of time, this is our destiny.  And besides, you might even like it.  My great uncle Hugo actually prefers being a phallic symbol to being a human.  My Aunt Cheree turned him back into one after they conceived, and now he sits around all day watching soap operas, waiting till she's 'in the mood'."

"Screw destiny, I don't want to be a dildo, I'm a man!" 

"Correction, you were a man, you will be a man again, in the mean time, you are a dildo.  Live with it."

I didn't know what to say.  This was mind-numbingly unbelievable.  "One more question, you know, if you don't mind, I know it's your birthday and all, and so, well, gee, I guess you have a lot going on.  But, why the hell does it feel like I'm about to orgasm, like my balls are on fire, ready to explode?" 

"Another part of the spell.  The closer you are to orgasm when I cast it, and the more powerful orgasm you were about to reach, means the bigger phallic symbol you would morph into.  As for the feeling of cumming?  Sorry, but you'll just have to get used to that.  You are a fertility phallic symbol, and they don't orgasm."

"Get used to it?  Are you nuts????  Do you have any idea how badly I want to shoot my load?  This fucking hurts!" 

"Again Phil, sorry, sacrifices need to be made.  Welcome to the front lines in the battle between the planes of existence.  Now let me show you the upside to all this."  I watched with, what did she call it, my mind's eye, and she pulled off her tights and panties, and started to lower herself on to me.  Holy shit!  What a mind blowing, incredibly erotic feeling.  I was in her pussy.  Not just my dick, but my entire body felt like it was inside her.  Warm, moist, velvety smooth, it was so erotic, I was going nuts.  My balls throbbed even more, I was overwhelmed with emotions and sensations.  This was totally out of this world. 

Then Zooey started thrusting me in and out of her pussy, I was loving it, I would have loved to shot my load into her, but this was just, words failed me.  Self, I said to myself, if I'm stuck, and this is my fate, and I get to do this, well, maybe there are worse situations.  So I decided to try something.  I tried to vibrate.  And I guess it worked, because I can hear Zooey squirming and laughing.  "Oh well, any job that's worth doing, is worth doing well!"

Happy Halloween.