Burt blushed as he stared at the clown’s painted tits.
“You guys have to be kidding me.”
He looked around at his gathered friends expecting them to start laughing. Instead, they just kept their shit-eating grins. He looked back down at the flyer. ‘Ms. Merry Weather’s Clown Harem’, it read.
“I mean her name’s too close to our English teacher. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Dude, you’ve seen Ms. Merriweather’s rack,” Trevor noted.
“Shut up.”
He blushed despite himself. No way this was real. An adults-only funhouse on the edge of the circus where you get chased by busty stripper clowns? It was the stuff of a bad porno, not reality. Still… it could be fun.
“Alright, let’s go.”
They walked across the fairgrounds the circus had set up shop until they reached a massive funhouse. A group of clowns had gathered on the railing out front to address the forming crowd.
“Hey there boys!”
The first one to speak was jaw-droppingly tall, 6’ 6'' to be precise. She wore a polka dot tank top with the typical round clown shoulder pads, but within the top was one of the biggest pairs of breasts Burt and his friends have ever seen. Not even what they’d seen in porn could compare. If he had to make a random guess he’d say they were double K cups at least. Her waist was slim and somewhat toned, but that all changed when you got down to her wide thicc hips and thighs. They looked like they were murdering her poor pair of red and white polka dot booty shorts.
After her wave hello she turned around and pressed her massive booty into the railing. It looked big enough to swallow their heads, maybe more. She wore thigh-high boots, and a typical clown bonnet over her dyed shoulder-length blue hair, as well as a pair of white clown gloves. All her wardrobe followed the same red on white polka dots, and her face was bright and bubbly with white makeup, blue stars painted over her eyes, red circular dimples, red lipstick, and a big red nose. Her name, they would come to find out, was Honka. Gee, wonder why that was?
Honka looked down at the crowd and smiled. Good crop this time. It would be hard to choose who got in. A group of five boys stood in the back. They were perfect.
“You five, step up, tell me your names.”
The oldest and tallest boy went first. Black, muscular, and very handsome. He looked to be about six-foot. He would do.
“Trevor,” he announced.
The smallest went next. He was barely 4’11” and looked like a baby.
“Sam,” he squeaked.
Honka gave him a knowing smile as a suave-looking but average height Latinx boy stepped up.
“Nico.”
A shorter ginger boy was next. He looked to be five-foot even.
“Mikey.”
The last was a cute boy, barely eighteen, a shy little guy with messy brown hair you just wanted to rub. He was perfect for Merry.
“B...Burt,” he stuttered.
“Front of the line, boys.”
“Glad someone finally showed up! We were starting to get bored.”
The second woman, at first, seemed to possess a slightly more toned-down body type. At 6’ 4” she was still incredibly tall. She appeared to be less thirsty than her predecessor, or perhaps it was that her lust was more focused and directed. Not to mention holding a teasingly condescending tone to her voice. Her hair was fiery red and worn in a high ponytail that went all the way down her back, with a single bang falling over one of her eyes. Her breasts were a more modest F cup if that could be considered modest at all. Her exposed waist was toned and slim. However, when you ventured further downward you came across her most glorious feature. This woman’s hips gracefully curved out of her sides leading to her thicc plush thighs further down. All this could only clue in the boys to how big her butt must have been and how big it was. While they couldn’t see it just yet, the junk in her trunk was bigger than Honka’s to say the very least.
Her name, comically, was Bongo. Like all the other clowns she had a full-body white paint job, a pair of white gloves on, and a big red nose on her face. Aside from that and her dark red lipstick as well as some small red circles painted around her eyes, her body paint was featureless, allowing her wardrobe to do most of the talking. Said wardrobe, from the bottom up, consisted of knee-high dark blue high heeled boots. Followed by a blue thong, and a green mini skirt that did nothing to cover her massive bum. Up top, all she had was a spaghetti strap crop top with red tassels on the front and allowing for a good view of her cleavage. Stunning though she was, there was a more dominant air about her.
“It’s so nice to meet you. Would you boys like to come in and rest for a bit?”
The final member of the trio was also the shortest at 6’ 1” but also the oldest, or at the very least the most mature looking out of all of them. She had that gentle smile, a bubbly disposition that screamed MILF housewife, though it’s unlikely she was even thirty years old. Her proportions were not as big as the others, but they didn’t need to be. She had GG cup breasts, wide hips, and a plump shapely butt, even a little belly paunch though barely noticeable. Her stats were completely even and made for a stunningly beautiful, and soft, slightly chubby, woman you just wanted to be hugged by. Her hair was long and slightly curly and dyed a light pink color. Along with the other standards for the group, she wore a tight white dress with puffy shoulder pads, that had blue stripes that went down the length of the dress, as well as a polka-dot apron that allowed a great deal of her cleavage to be left exposed. Her name was Blossom.
“You guys came just in time,” said Honka, “I was worried I wouldn’t be able to squeeze someone with my thighs tonight!”
Blossom smiled and put a hand to her cheek. “My my. I’m so sorry about her boys. Honka can be dreadfully forward at times.”
“Ha! Like you don’t wanna sit on the blonde one’s face,” Bongo interjected. “Can’t say I blame you though. I can really picture grinding my ass on ginger snap over there.”
Not breaking her smile and allowing herself to blush slightly she continued. “Oh, you girls are just too much.”
“We’re too much,” Honka asked, “you’d never say that to you know who and you know she’ll just want the shrimp over there,” she pointed to Sam.
“Aw but she’s so sweet. You girls never give her enough credit. She can control herself.”
“Oh yeah,” laughed Bongo, “Let’s see about that. OH TINY! COME OUT WE HAVE VISITORS!”
The ground beneath Burt shook. Several loud thuds grew closer and closer. The barn door flew open. An excited-looking woman, so large the boys didn’t even believe their own eyes at first, bounded out. ‘Tiny’, as her friends laughably called her, was no shorter than 8’ 9” tall. She had perky O cup breasts that rested on her round soft looking belly. She had wide, wide, wide hips that alluded to, what was no doubt, an absolutely massive booty, and thick juicy thighs that looked like they could squeeze the life out of anyone. Her hair was green and neck length, it also covered up her eyes even though it looked like she didn’t have any trouble seeing.
Like all the others she had white makeup all over her body, a big red nose, white gloves, some red circles on her cheeks, and some red lipstick on her lips. Her aesthetic, however, was more of a hobo clown. She still had the bright colors the others had, but her outfit looked a lot more, shall we say, patch worked. Granted that was probably because she was so big, but it did make her stand out. Her top was nothing more than a glorified sports bra, with a stripe pattern, and several different colored patches all over it. It also left a massive amount of cleavage on display that looked enough to smother Burt’s whole upper body or more. There was nothing to cover her belly except a red girdle that looked like it gave up on its job a long time ago. As for her lower body… she wore old-school ladies’ underwear right out of Red Dead Redemption 2 with red and white stripes to match her top. Several patches and several tears where her body oozed out of their confinement, being eight sizes too small and riding up her ass crack, added to her look. Her feet were covered by a pair of tattered boots.
Tiny stared at the boys with a lustful smile and giggled.
“Wow, these guys look sooooo cute!”
She looked over at Burt’s 4’ 11” friend Sam.
“Especially that one!”
Sam gulped as she turned around and gave them all their first view of her monstrously huge, but still soft and perfectly shaped, booty.
“Have any of you ever been sat on before?”
“Now now Tiny,” Blossom giggled, “we’ve already talked about this.”
A horn blew somewhere deep inside the funhouse.
“No time for that now anyway.”
“The hunt is on!” Honka shouted. “We’ll take twenty tonight. Last tiny standing meets Miss Merry!”
“But I already met her.”
“Different Tiny, sweetheart. Make it out: win $200!”
“Make it out?” Burt wondered.
He couldn’t wonder too long as his friends grabbed him and ran for the door. They made it in quickly thanks to Honka. They looked around the funhouse. That might not be the right word for it. The first room of the ‘funhouse’ looked just like a public library.
“Elaborate setup.”
The shelves, all sitting horizontally, slid back and forth transforming into an obstacle course leading to the next door. Everyone made a b-line laughing and shouting. Several were knocked down easily. They just got up and tried again.
“Okay, this could be fun.”
“That’s the spirit,” Trevor said.
One man got too close to the exterior wall. Hit by a shelf he fell towards a large metal chute. It was closed with a pull-down door labeled ‘Returns’. As he got closer it opened and swallowed him up. He could be heard yelling as he was sent down a metal slide.
“That gives me an idea,” Trevor smirked.
A giant poster with a shushing librarian spun around revealing a hidden doorway. Honka stepped out smiling wickedly. It was finally her turn to go first. Every clown in Merry’s harem wanted unrestricted access to the flock to choose her new toy. The blonde boy was just ahead. She would have him between her legs tonight.
Return chutes lined the walls of the ‘library’. Trevor used his prowess on the football field to send the others flying into them and out of the funhouse. Some blond shrimp went next.
“Boom!”
Honka was fuming. That boy was hers! This little shit was going to pay.
“Young man, there’s no running in the library!”
Trevor looked back at the sexy clown running after him. Oh yeah, this was going to be good.
“Go ahead boys, looks like I need to be punished.”
As the last of the eleven remaining boys left the room the door slammed shut and locked. He turned back to Honka.
“Come and get me.”
He laughed and ran making sure she followed. He watched her boobies bounce, ignoring her furious face. Trevor weaved in and out of the stacks as they slid back and forth. Honka didn’t bother. She hit them in just the right spot to shut them off.
“That’s not fair,” Trevor teased.
“Not fair? Not fair?! I had a blonde boy just inches from my thighs when you shoved him out of the funhouse. He was mine. Now you’re going to pay.”
Trevor stopped.
“What the hell are you saying?”
Her head collided with his stomach. He toppled over gasping for air. She swept his legs with her own, sending him crashing to the floor. She sat down and wrapped her legs around him, sandwiching him in her thighs.
Then she squeezed.
The lights flickered on. The remaining eleven took in the view of the new room they found themselves in. They were at the top of a small set of stairs only three tall, with the same set up across the room. In between them and the far side was a chessboard style floor, which instantly gave most of the group worries. Not all of them as it seems though, cause one idiot ran forward as fast as he could. He only made it three tiles before the square he was standing on revealed itself to be a trap door.
“Oh I get it,” Nico said. “It’s just like that game that nobody cares about anymore, that came out last summer.”
“Oddly specific, but go on,” added Mikey.
“He got past the first two tiles just fine, so that means there must be a specific path that we can go down. We just gotta start at those two and tap our feet on the left or right tile to see which is the next safe one.”
“Oooooor, it’s completely random, and those first two were just a coincidence,” Mikey said politely challenging his friend
“Maybe,” Nico admitted, “but you wanna just rush across like that guy?”
Burt raised his hand. “Uh guys?” he pointed towards the far side of the room and saw that the door was slowly closing. “I think we better just go!”
With that said everyone lined up single file and slowly made their way through the room. Carefully testing every tile before moving on.
Tiny, Blossom, and Bongo were standing in a dark room filled with security monitors giving them a view of the events unfolding.
“Huh,” said Bongo as she scratched her head, “No one’s done that before… sounds like some dumb game just ruined this room for us.”
“He seems like a smart young man,” Blossom said in reference to Nico.
Bongo put her hand on her hip and smiled.
“Yeah… my favorite.”
She licked her lips and reached for the big red button.
“Wait… allow me,” said Blossom, “You saw what happened to Honka’s pick. I wanna make sure I get mine right where I want him.”
She leaned in close to the monitor.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! Blossom!”
“Yes Tiny?”
“Make sure you don’t hit that one,” she pointed at Sam. “I want him.”
“We already know that Tiny,” laughed Bongo, “Heck the second we saw him we knew where he was going tonight.”
“Stop teasing her Bongo,” Blossom scolded.
“Okay Tiny, I’ll be careful. Now just let me concentrate for a moment.”
Blossom stared intensely at the monitor, her hand over the button.
“Tee hee… come, to mama.”
Trevor struggled for air. He slapped at his assailant’s legs frantically.
“Trying to tap out, Wimp? That ain’t happening,” Honka mocked.
He moaned, hoping for a little mercy. He got it. She opened her legs and let him fall to the floor.
“What was that?!”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she slammed her massive ass onto his head.
“Okay we’re almost there,” Burt said as the first few guys ran through the ever-closing door.
Mikey spoke with excitement. “Yeah! This is in the ba-” Before he could finish a large foam log swung from the wall and knocked right into him, sending him flying. Quickly followed by two others that knocked two guys into trap doors.
“Mikey!” Sam shouted.
He fell flat on a white square, but it didn’t budge. For a moment his friends smiled with relief.
“Holy crap man that was close,” Nico wiped some sweat from his brow.
Burt stretched his arm out as far as he could. “We’ll try to catch you. Can you make the jump?”
“No,” Mikey shook his head. “But that’s okay. If this one’s solid then,” he put his hand down on the tile next to him, “this one should be TOO!” he nearly fell over as the trap door fell open.
“Careful,” Burt cautioned.
“Yeah… right… okay then maybe this one?”
Trap door.
“No… then this one.”
Trap door. Now he was nervous.
“... This one?”
Trap door.
“Aw crap guys.... It looks like I’m stuck.”
Nico scratched his head in confusion.
“That doesn’t make any sense. Why would there just be that one square there? Maybe you could try jumping to the other one across from you?”
“Nah… I’m not gonna risk it. The door’s closing up, you guys better go.”
“Aw man,” said Sam.
“Sorry dude,” Nico followed him.
“Are you gonna jump down the chutes?” asked Burt.
“I’d rather not. Look, just go, I’ll figure something out. Maybe one of those clowns will come and help me out.”
“Alright man, be careful,” Burt ran towards the door and slipped under at just the right time.
The door to the next room closed fully, leaving Mikey there to stew at his misfortune. “Of course I land on the one tile that’s not a trap door, and I’m still screwed. Short guys never have good luck.” He sighed. “Well, I guess there’s only one way out of this.” He stood up, and turned around, staring down at the abyss of the trap door. “Well I guess this could be fun too… depending on where it leads. Okay… one… two… threEEEEEEEEEE!” As he leapt up, he suddenly felt something wrap around his arms and torso, which pulled him backwards through the air until he crashed into something soft. It was then he saw arms wrap around him, and felt something soft plop onto his head. His feet dangled just off the ground, then he looked up, but all he could see was polkadot covered boob.
“Are you alright sweetie,” a soft familiar voice said.
“Uh… yeah. I mean, yes ma’am. Thank you.”
“Oh, so polite. You’re welcome, but don’t be so formal sweetheart. Call me Blossom.”
“O-okay.”
“Sorry if I startled you. I saw you about to jump in the trap door, and I just had to rescue you. At your height falling down one of those things might be dangerous. Luckily I still remember a lasso trick or two from my rodeo clown days. So tell me, what’s a little boy like you doing here?”
Mikey, being rather sensitive to his height got a little annoyed at the comment. “H-hey I’m not a-” Blossom cut him off.
“I’m just teasing honey. You had to show your ID to get in here after all. Now… how about a consolation prize?”
“C-consolation prize?” Mikey’s mind raced with perverted ideas that he quickly tried to shoo away.
“Hmhmhm… how would you like a balloon animal?”
“Oh… yeah… sure,” Mikey sounded disappointed.
“Wonderful!” Blossom put him down and faced him toward her, letting him get a full look at her bountiful body, while curiously, leaving the lasso tied around him. She pulled out a long balloon. “How about… a boa constrictor?”
“Wouldn’t that just be… I don’t wanna sound rude, but basic?”
“Oh you’re not being rude. I understand. But it won’t be basic the way I do it… Cutie,” Mikey’s eyes went wide, as her voice turned sultry.
The next room was a movie theater. The massive screen on the opposite end of the wall was showing the four clowns from before. They were kissing and making out. Making out hard. Nico had never seen clowns do that before. He liked it. A lot. Maybe he should just sit down and watch for a while.
Someone else had the same idea. The man took his seat. It flipped backward, dropping him down a chute. OK, that was not an option. The group of ten… well... now nine players kept running. The further they got the stickier the floor became. Nico flinched as an air cannon fired popcorn into the air beside him.
“What the hell?!”
They exploded randomly along the path. Several men were so scared they stumbled off the path and into waiting chutes. One bumped into Nico on his way out. He fell onto his back with a loud SQUISH. Groaning, he tried to push himself up. His arms would not obey. His shirt sleeves were stuck to the floor. The same went for his pants legs. He was trapped.
“Help!”
No one heard. The five remaining men, including Bert and Sam, were off to the next room. A shadow fell over him.
“Hey there cutie,” came Bongo’s voice.
Burt and Sam ran down a dark hallway, falling behind the others, before finally bumping into two of the three other remaining contestant’s backs.
“Hey watch it, shrimp,” one growled at Sam.
“Uh… I- I’m sorry…” Sam nervously stuttered.
“Hey dude cool off,” Burt rushed to defend his meek friend. “It’s dark as hell and it’s just a game anyway.”
The jerk sneered at him. “Okay dude, seriously? This place is weird as hell! Trap doors, random chutes leading to who knows where, collapsing floors? What the fuck is going on here? Are these clown bitches psychos?! I mean you saw that huge one, who the hell is that big?!”
The guy next to him intervened. “Please excuse my friend here. He’s not bad, he's just on edge. He’s got a phobia of clowns and we were kinda doing this to help him get over it. We tried taking him to see IT last year, but that just made it worse.”
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! DON’T REMIND ME OF THAT NOW!”
“Okay…” Burt said feeling a little awkward. “So what’s the deal with this room?” The room in front of the five finalists was pitch black, with themselves only illuminated by three stage lights from above. “Can you guys see anything?”
“Not really,” one of them commented.
“Nada.”
Sam squinted his eyes, “I can’t see much… but is that…'' Just then he was cut off by a loudspeaker.
“Greetings… uh I mean… Greetings condiments! No, wait… contestants!”
The voice was familiar to them all. It was that mini giantess clown, Tiny, from earlier, and it sounded as if she was having trouble with the script.
“You’ve done well to get this far, but only one can claim the grand prize in the next room!”
The lights flicked on and they saw before them a massive pit with only two bridges across and a small circle in the middle of each bridge. In front of said bridges, they saw 4 sets of pugil sticks waiting for them.
“Meet in the middle of the bridges, the fights will be two viss two. What?”
She spoke to some unknown figure clearly out of range of the mic.
“… oh sorry. Two versus two. Now pair up and… wait a minute… one… two three four… five… hey boss there’s five of them. What should we do? Which button is that again? Okay… let’s see… boop!”
“What the hell is she talking abo-”
Just then a small boot popped out of the floor behind the clown-phobic guy and gave him a kick in the butt sending him down into the pit.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH…”
“Is… is he okay,” Burt asked, a little concerned.
Tiny replied, “Hmmm? Oh yeah, he’s fine. Anyway take your positions and start on my mark,” Tiny put her hand over the mic, but she could still be heard, “boss I don’t know anyone named Mark... Oh that kind of mark, gotcha.”
Sam and Burt would face down the remaining two other guys, seeing as how they obviously didn’t want to fight each other. Sam nervously shuffled across the bridge, pugil stick in hand, when the mic cut back on.
“Hey shorty, I’m rooting for you! Hehehehe! MMMWAH!”
Sam gulped. He wasn’t sure what was scarier. Getting knocked off the platform, or coming face to face, or more likely face to knee, with Tiny the clown.
His opponent chuckled hearing this.
“Ha! She’s gonna be disappointed. I’ll end this in two seconds, pipsqueak.”
Burt was a little nervous himself. The guy he was fighting had a good couple inches on him and didn’t look like a pushover. Not to mention that Burt had never been much of a fighter. Still, he stared down his foe and prepared to do his absolute best. He didn’t know what was at the end of this thing, but he knew he wanted to see it.
The door to the other room opened up as Tiny began to speak again.
“Ready… Set… Oops, not yet… okay, now GO!”
A horn blew and the door to the next room began to slowly close. Now time was a factor.
Burt’s opponent took a deep breath and moved to knock him down in one swift blow. “You’re going down, man!”
“Your shoe’s untied,” Burt said plainly.
“Like I’m falling for...waaaaa AAAAAAAAH!”
Burt wasn’t lying, his shoe really was untied, and now he was tumbling down the abyss, to a, no doubt, cushy landing.
“Huh… damn… I was kinda looking forward to a fight honestly.”
He looked at the door and hurried off the bridge, but rather than rush right in he stopped to wait for Sam. Sure the rules were only one could make it in, but he was willing to risk the competition if at least one of his friends could make it with him.
“Come on Sam you got this!”
Sam did not have this. He was too timid to even get one solid hit on the guy, all he could do was avoid all of his attacks, which at his size wasn’t hard, but he couldn’t keep it up forever.
“Come on twerp! Hold still!”
The next couple of swings managed to knock Sam's pugil out of his hand.
A couple more swings and misses, and the door was getting closer and closer to being closed off. Sam looked over to Burt and shouted, “just go for it dude, I’ll be fine!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah just go, man!”
With his friends' reassurances, he moved to duck under the door. Their brief talk had gotten the other dude’s attention.
“Aw, hell no!”
He turned around to try to make it before the door closed, but he was stopped as Sam grabbed his ankle.
“What the? Let go of me you midget!”
“No!” Sam shouted defiantly.
The guy managed to shake his leg enough to eventually fling Sam off, causing him to tumble off the platform holding on by the tips of his fingers. However, as the guy turned back towards the door he saw that it had closed.
“DAMN IT!”
He looked back at Sam with sheer anger in his eyes. He tossed his pugil stick over the side and walked towards the dangling Sam. He raised up his boot and prepared to stomp down on his fingers.
“See ya next fall, you little shit!”
Sam squeezed his eyes shut. SQUASH!
“Huh,” he thought.
Opening his eyes he saw a gargantuan ass sitting down right in front of him with a pair of feet wiggling underneath.
“Wow that was close,” Tiny brushed the sweat off her forehead. “I almost didn’t make it in time.”
She stood up revealing to a stunned Sam, that she had completely flattened the guy to her ass before she carelessly peeled him off and tossed him over the side.
“There now that the bully’s taken care of,” She turned to Sam and picked him up with the same effort you would use to pick up a stuffed animal.
“Upsy daisy.”
She gingerly placed him down in front of herself and looked down at him. Though he couldn’t see her eyes through her hair, it was clear she could see him.
“Hiya! My name’s Tiny! What’s yours?”
Sam had always been the shortest guy in the room, he was always picked last for sports, and people could straight up not notice him at all, but he had truly never felt as short as he did before this behemoth of a woman. Her plump body was easily enough to destroy him or imprison him within her womanly hiding spots. This was the woman who had called him cute and singled him out twice now. He was also all alone with her. All he could do was introduce himself and hope for the best.
“S-Sam… thanks for saving me…”
“SAM?! OH, THAT’S PERFECT! I had a teddy bear named Sam once! He was cute just like you!”
Her expression briefly changed to a bit of a sadder one.
“But I hugged him too much though and broke him.”
Her expression brightened back up.
“Hey I’m a little too old for teddy bears now, but maybe…”
She pulled out a bundle of rope from her cleavage, gifted to her by her devious friends, “we could cuddle up together?”
“W-why do you have that rope?” His voice trembled as he spoke.
“Oh, my friends taught me this fun game to play with cute guys… Here let me show you!”
Sam shook with fear as Tiny’s massive shadow fell over him. One thing was clear. She may have not been the brightest bulb in the box, but judging by that devious smile, she knew exactly what she was doing as she pulled on the rope and approached her prey.
The last room. The end of the line. The prize. Only one could make it here. Somehow, somehow, Burt was that one. How in the hell had that happened? He had no earthly clue. All he knew he was here alone with the busty clown MILF Ms. Merry Weather. God, that name. This room was the strangest of them all. It was normal.
He was in an elegant bedroom. Everything was stone and tapestry, like in a princess’s tower. OK, so maybe it wasn’t that normal. Still, there seemed to be no traps here. That was good. A woman stirred on the bed. A big woman. A big clown woman.
“Welcome, Champion. Come get your reward.”
He knew that voice. She stood and stepped into the light.
“Burt?!” she asked, shocked.
He gawked at her. She was a head taller than him with short black hair. She wore a blue and white miniskirt that reminded him of a beach ball. Her modest pink and red striped shirt bulged from the size of her giant breasts. A white bowtie with yellow polka dots surrounded her neck as a blue flowery Mary Poppins style hat sat jauntily on her head.
“Ms. Merriweather?”