Chapter 4
“I looked out over the city at night, the view from Derrick's gifted top floor apartment stunning, and I then wonder what Beth and he are doing at this very moment. I'm sure their plane has landed by now, and they're likely even on the ship and in their stateroom by now as well. Are they having a good laugh at my expense? Or, is their conversation a more serious one, as in, is there a life altering question being asked at this very second?”
“Or, are they not talking at all, but instead making passionate love to each other, Beth perhaps even surrendering her magnificent little ass to that barbarian, even if it was likely just a further trophy for his collection? I dwell on the thought as I look out over the city, what if she decides that she doesn't want anal sex with Derrick, but he instead decides he still does? I'm again flooded with imagery, of Derick forcefully pinning her naked body to the bed and taking what he wants as she struggles and thrashes about helplessly, perhaps even with a pillow ruthlessly held over her head so the other passengers can't hear her screams and burst in to rescue her, Beth's wishes on the subject not a concern to this monster. He could do anything he might like to her as big and strong as he is, and to me as well, the thought profound. Beth is a woman of education and means though, cultured, could she possibly get off on being 'made' to do such nasty things herself, even if she claims repeatedly that she doesn't want them?
“It's an epiphany for me, but a far too late one. I couldn't do that to Beth though, I had far too much respect for her, and I reasoned in my mind that if she had wanted that kind of guy she could have easily had one, or even several looking as she does... Except for her parents, they liked me, I presented no physical threat to their daughter, nor to their considerable wealth, but at the same time I couldn't provide for her in the way she was used to, nor the ways she now apparently desired. It was a trade-off of sorts, and perhaps Beth had some buyer's remorse of her own in regards to this trade-off with me, and this twisted situation that I had foolishly invited into our troubled marriage seemed the antidote to her, the escape hatch for her boring but stable life married to me.
“I don't know exactly how long I stare out of those windows, but I've long since removed my special shaping bra by that point as the official work day is long over, and there is nobody here to catch me misbehaving either. I was exhausted from my labors and felt as if I were in a self-induced trance, but I had little else to do anyway, the cable already shut off in the apartment in expectation of the next tenants. I had no phone or computer with me either, and this as well had to be part of Derrick's plan to drive me permanently insane; my active mind with no distractions left but to vicariously visit with Beth and Derrick on vacation as they repeatedly made love to each other, and discussed 'their' future, one likely devoid of her first 'mistake' of a husband, one way or the other.
“A jingle of keys breaks me out of my melancholy, and I find myself standing face to face with a man, his shocked expression likely mirroring my own. He's a handsome well-dressed man, and he had keys, and therefore permitted access, so I come to the quick conclusion that this is no burglary. This would be unlikely anyway, the place well guarded, and while furnished, nothing of great value was actually left behind. Certainly none of Derrick's clothes or personal things were, I could have perhaps used some of those to make my escape from this delightful prison cell, but to where while wearing clothes several sizes too big for me?
“'I'm sorry, you must be Pansy,' the man says. 'I didn't think you'd still be here, Derrick told me that I could use you, once you were done over here.'
“This man knows what I am, possibly even thinks I am in debt to Derick for something, and still he's talking to me like I'm a fellow human being. I instantly like this guy, even though he's apparently a friend of Derrick's.
“'Oh no,' I tell him in my most feminine voice, the one that I've been forced to practice in Derrick's presence and when dressed up. 'I'm to stay here for the whole two weeks while he's on vacation, with his lady friend,' I try to say as dispassionately as possible. I don't know if this man is privy to all the ugly details of my strange relationship with Derrick, and being forced to tell him those details, that Beth is actually my wife whom he has so easily seduced, would be impossible for me, without breaking down into tears at any rate.
“He tells me his name is Terry, and that he has some friends over, and as I apparently have nothing to do here and look lonely anyway, he wants me to come over. I ask if they'll be okay with me, meaning who I am and how I'm dressed, to which he replies 'more than just okay.'
“I don't mind cooking and cleaning. It's been the sole focus of my non-working life for months, and the only thing that's got me through this emotional disaster with even a shred of my sanity left intact, and I desperately need this working distraction for my mental health. But, I'm dressed up and this is well out of my comfort zone, despite the fact that I think I look pretty good like this - a therefore plausible femininity - along with my drastic weight loss and vacuum enhanced new boobs. They'll be inflated for hours yet, the fluid that gets drawn into them by the vacuum slowly dissipating on it's own, but I've also noticed that it takes longer each time to deflate, as that rather tender flesh seems to lose it's resiliency. Some things shrink, and some grow, it's a cruel twist of fate if you dwell on it too much.
“Still, this man knows Derrick, and my feminine name too, meaning he had Derrick's blessing and could tell me to do anything he might like, and still he was asking me. I've been gifted though, lent to this man and his friends by Derrick, a man who it could be argued that owned me himself, the thought of being 'gifted' to anybody exciting to a certain part of me that's been dormant for the best part of a year now. I've never really thought about another guy like this in my life, but this cold turkey sexless existence over these last months has done something profound to me. I even noticed that Terry was a good looking man, but had he seen this in my eyes himself, and if so was he interested in such things? Or, for that matter, was I?
“Terry doesn't order me though, nor threaten either, although Derrick had been fairly clear that I was to be lent out to his friends for whatever purposes they desired. I'm still not necessarily thinking this meant sex though. Sex of any kind has been off limits to me for months, but had given me some possible insights into Beth's sexually frustrated motivations with Derrick: she wasn’t trapped in a chastity device though, other than our wedding vows, which I had foolishly helped her slip out of. I wonder for not the first time at the outcome if I had just told Beth on our wedding night what she was going to do, instead of asking her? That would mean pretending to be something I'm not though, the thought ironic bearing in mind my state of dress and confusing desires at that particular moment though."
"So, did you go with this Terry?" I asked. Pansy was about to confide in me something I doubt she has told to anybody else. It's not such a stretch, bearing in mind her likely overall sexual frustration, but sharing such things with a work friend can have serious consequences, although I would never take advantage of her or think less of her for such things. I've done some pretty wild things myself, and I knew I would have to share one of those with her now, but first things first. This story is about James, who is one hundred percent ‘Pansy’ to me now.
"Yes, but I had no choice. He let me fix my makeup and I followed him to his apartment. It was a carbon copy of Derrick's layout wise, but with real art and unique furniture. Terry and his 'partner' Tim act like they could actually afford this place though, where Derrick was only pretending to. I didn't have the keys to Derrick's place obviously, Terry locked the door behind us with his, locking me out of my only refuge, with him in possession of the only keys to get me back in again. He had to know this too though, I was about to proverbially jump into this next new thing with both high heels, and little opportunity to back out now, whether I realized it or not.
“There were several guys there and a quiet party of sorts in full swing, I was the only 'woman' present, but the men were all super nice to me, greeting me warmly like a new friend. Terry's partner, Tim, was obviously a man though, so this explained both his, and his friends’, openness toward my unique status. He was fit too, but not in a muscularly brutish kind of way like Derrick was, he more of a refined classy kind of a guy that looked good in a jacket, at least on first appearance.
“The food is all made, finger sandwiches and the like, all I have to do is serve the men, and I do that well enough, even mixing an acceptable martini for one of the guys by memory when asked to, although this brings back some painful memories. I'm like a temp at a friendly office, but still here to do a specific job, and therefore more of a visitor than somebody that 'belonged.' But even this relative warmth opened me up a little, dramatically different to what I had become accustomed to over the last several months... as did the drinks I was also encouraged to drink. Terry mixed one himself, and I think that he's put something extra in there, but what exactly I don't know. Soon after, my face is flushed and I'm horned up like back when Beth was out on her first dancing date with the monster, except I can't do anything about it this time, other than to notice that some of these men look desirable to me, as does Terry himself. I'm like a virgin though, I don't exactly know what to do with that desire, but it's a real and tangible thing nonetheless, my urges screaming in my ear and making my stomach tingle.
“They're looking at me too, and I feel what that look means now for the very first time in my life, 'like meat in the butcher's window', but I'm strangely receptive to it. I then wonder if natural women get this kind of feeling, this being wanted physically, for sex. A friendly pat on my bottom startles me and nearly makes me moan out loud, I'm so wound up, as does an exploitative hand run up my leg to my stocking tops as my hands are full with a snack tray.
“I'm in heat, I'm a caged animal in heat, and worse yet, these guys know it now... they feel it somehow! They are the hunters, a pack of starving carnivores, and I'm the prey. It seems like a cruel tease though, because in my mind I can't cum with this damn cage on, although I've not seriously tried, no opportunity, and no real desire to anymore either, like that part of my life is dead to me. I bend over just a little more than I need to now while serving and clearing away glasses, enjoying the attention and feeling the growing sexual energy in the room. I find every excuse to brush against the free arms and legs of the men where I can, every touch to my body electric to me now.
“I want this with every fiber of my being, but I'm not exactly sure what 'this' actually is yet, nor how exactly this will all play out in the end. It was scary, and exciting too, but my mind comes back to being a gift, a gift for a specific purpose, I reluctantly admit to myself...
“Then Terry pulls me aside and whispers into my ear, after kissing me sweetly on the cheek, my first kiss from another man - other than a teenage dare, that I don't want to discuss at the moment. 'You, my dear, are the desert. You have to know this by now...' he tells me sweetly, but candidly. I suspected as much, but I just can't, this is too far in my mind. I'm conflicted, and at the same time I'm naive to these things as far as actual experience goes, but I've looked at enough cuck porn to know that such things go hand in hand with the cuck lifestyle, fluffing for the bull and all of that. I had never thought about it too much back then, back when this was just a fleeting taboo fantasy for me, and where that fantasy submission to another man, an aggressive one, might logically lead to, the dirty details as it were. I've never really had these kinds of thoughts before either, with other men that is. But, I'm here now, and obviously even dressed the part, although by Derrick's careful manipulation and entrapment, and not fate itself.
“I tell Terry honestly that this is all so new to me, but that only excites him more, 'so much the better,' he tells me with a big grin. ‘Fresh meat is always the best,’ I think to myself. I have a feeling that he knew this going into it though, and that meant that Derrick had told him so. That also meant that what was to happen was not only okay with Derrick, but part of HIS plan, and not mere happenstance.
“I realize that I'm stalling, ruining the mood Terry and his friends have so carefully crafted over the course of the last hour or so, but I've played a part here too, teasing and taunting them with my feminized body. At the same time this man and his friends have been nicer to me in the last hour that both Derrick and Beth have in almost the last year, I'm like a dry sponge soaking in all the attention. But, I don't have the courage to go through with this, willingly, it's just too much, it goes too far. In my mind there's no coming back from this either, everything I've done, or been made to do, isn't necessarily permanent... yet. Even Beth's acceptance of Derrick's proposal isn't a done deal, until I first relinquish my legal bond to her.
“I just can't do this though, and I reluctantly tell Terry so, not wanting to hurt his feelings, nor generate a bad report when Derrick and Beth take possession of me once again, after their romantic cruise where he intends to pop the question...
"Do you really want to hear the rest of this?" Pansy then asks me.
"Are you kidding me? This is F-ing hot as hell!" I told her.
"Okay then. But this part gets real rough and kinky, these guys really into all things bondage, and some other things too."
"Continue!" I ordered my helpless captive, reminded of how little she actually knows about the other me, the kinky fun one.
"I've been ‘sold’ to these guys, by Derrick, as a party favor, as their entertainment. Derrick and Terry might have gone to the same gym, but they're not friends, not buddies that hang out together. Terry has a different apparent level of class, and a different lifestyle too, one that I didn't see a brute like Derrick necessarily appreciating. I can't honestly say that I did either, before being thrust into this situation myself.
“I've lost so much weight, almost all my muscle tone by this point too, and my birth control pills are contributing to this as well, replacing testosterone with estrogen, three weeks out of four. Not that I had the will to resist, nor a place to run to if I did. I was trapped with these men, and they were going to have their fun with me, but even this didn't go exactly as one would expect.
“Terry then grabs my wrists from behind, his thumbs on my pressure points, making me helpless in his iron grip. He twists them further behind my back while rotating them, locking my elbows, not savagely, but clearly escape isn’t an option either. The move causes my body to bend over, to reduce the stress on my shoulders and arms, just as he anticipated. Some of the men were filming the spectacle of my capture with their phones, others continuing on in their conversations with just a glance, as if almost nothing unusual at all were happening.
“I'm bent over the coffee table with my knees on the floor, each wrist cuffed to each ankle with thick leather cuffs of some kind, by Tim. They're soft and feel well worn, so this isn't necessarily uncomfortable, other than I'm exponentially more helpless now. Manhandling me, even just a little, has done something for me though, it's thrown a switch in my brain. I'm not Derrick’s prisoner, but theirs. They are my jailers, I've been sold to my jailers to entertain them, the thought profound to me.
“I look up, some of the guys are filming and watching the spectacle, others are indifferent, but none are going to come to my rescue either. I haven't asked for one though, or even voiced one word of objection, as if to speak out in my defense is somehow rude and forbidden. I'm a commodity, bought and paid for, or at least that's how I'm feeling at the moment.
“Terry then whispers in my ear, his body over top my own and pinning me in place. 'Tim can be a jealous little bitch, I want you to find some wonderful way to say thank you for sharing our home for the next few weeks. He is in charge of any house punishments in regards to you by the way, so I would treat him especially well if I were you. If I don't think you're giving your absolute best performance, you and I are going to take a little ride together, to eighteenth street down in the bad part of the city, and I'll strip you naked and then sell you to a pimp down there for like fifty bucks, with the express understanding that I don't want you back. GOT IT?’ he then asks aggressively, although while still whispering for my ears alone.
“I nod my head, thinking he was being serious, but I was to find out later that he was only acting like that to ensure I was properly motivated. Though Tim actually was a jealous little bitch, once we were alone together. Terry then blindfolds me, this almost a gift as it makes this thing I have to do easier. I certainly don't want to seem the least bit reluctant to do this for Tim, playing right into Terry's, and therefore Derrick's, hands though."
"I don't understand," I tell Pansy.
"You will. Well anyway, I kind of know what's going to happen next, I'm going to be giving Tim my first ever blowjob, and I'm going to have to act like it's something I'm just dying to do for him, less I get stripped naked and sold to a pimp. I realized that selling me off like that would make things easier for Derrick and Beth, not to mention making the next short part of my life rather unpleasant. So it's either one very good blowjob to say thank you to Tim in this rather nice environment, or everything under the sun with a bunch of strangers in some very bad places, until one of them kills me with either disease, or outright violence.
“Terry then picks me up by my cuffs and places me in what feels like the center of the room. I'm a helpless sack of humanity to be placed and used as he pleases, and that thought overwhelms me. I'm kneeling there with my wrists pinned to my ankles, sitting on my haunches, and just waiting, my heels poking my ass. I expect Tim's cock to slap me in the face at any second, or something rude like that; feeling the warmth of another person close by. Instead I flinch when he kisses me on the lips, and he recoils back from me; this is not going well at all, but I had been caught by surprise.
“'I'm sorry, you caught me by surprise there,' I offer honestly in my best and softest female voice. 'Why was Tim wanting to kiss me, if he was so jealous of me?' I ask myself. It eventually occurs to me that maybe, just maybe Tim is trying to make Terry jealous instead. That second kiss from Tim I'm ready for, and we soon descend into a serious and rough make out session, but cuffed and blindfolded, and I forget about everybody else in the room. But, I had been starved for affection of any kind for far too long, and I'm getting vocal now too. Guys kiss rough, I never appreciated this before, but Tim's kisses are aggressive, where mine are more passive and sweet.
“He pulls away, and then drags one of his fingers across my half open lips, and I capture it playfully. Our make out session has wound me up, this someplace I never saw myself getting to only a year earlier. I'm married to a beautiful woman, but I haven't had any kind of relations with her in nearly a year though, nor anybody else either for that matter, to include myself. Derrick has taken my place with her, and will almost certainly want to do so permanently, if he can arrange it somehow. I've also been forced to listen to their love-making countless times, and clean up afterwards, but I've never watched them make love a single time, as if such things are not part of my life now, with anybody.
“With all this in mind, feelings that I thought were dead to me come flooding back in. I'm horned up like never before, but I still don't know how to do something about this for myself, but I can do something about this selflessly for Tim, to say thank you to him in a very, very special way. I feel something else on my lips then, and I attack it like I'm starving. Beth had done this for me a single time, but reluctantly like it was a distasteful job she was expected to do at least once, it took all the fun right out of it for me though.
“I'm so far away from where Beth was attitude wise though, I don't just want to give Tim a wonderful warm place to spill his seed, I want to make love to his cock like it was my mission in life. I've had a great many of my own cream pies from Beth over the years while trying to make sex with me good enough that she'll want to do it again. And as a result of that the concept of Tim popping off in my mouth isn't all that bad to me, other than that I'm getting it ‘straight from the source,’ and of course it's not mine mixed in with Beth's own wonderful flavors.
“Well, anyway, I'm all over Tim from end to end with my mouth and lips, but without the use of my hands what choice do I have? He's getting into it though, 'do this, not there,' little whispered tips like that, but I eventually feel him getting close, and then he gets just a little less than tender and sweet with me, holding my head and thrusting deep into me, making inroads down my actual throat as his swinging balls slap my chin. Instead of pulling back though, I push ahead, the noises I'm making obscene, my nose touching off on his hair down there several times, I in effect deep throating him, and on my first ever blow job too. He's not the biggest man to be sure, but larger that I am now by a fair margin, maybe even a factor of four.
“I feel him tense up and grunt, animalistic noises really, and he lets it fly down my throat. I cough a few times, but take it all like it was my mission in life. He deflates pretty quickly and pulls away from me, but I feel our combined mess running, both his lingering cum, and my own gooey saliva from the back of my throat. Not to leave any room for complaint, and in keeping with my directive of the best one ever, I noisily tongue-bath his deflated self clean, all of him, again end-to-end, I like a greedy kitten licking up all the spilled milk.
“'First blow job ever, my ass!' Tim snorts disbelievingly at the end, a sentiment shared by more than one that night.
“And not five minutes later, Beth and Derrick were both looking at a video of my stunning oral performance and make out session, sent to them by Terry, as per his agreement with Derrick. I saw it later, Beth showing me it herself on her phone, there not being words worth speaking in my defense either..."
"So, Derrick set you up, so that Beth would think that you were into this now, accepting this new life Derrick had pushed you into, and therefore by implication not really into her any longer? Was this the final deal breaker with her?" I then asked, more clearly, this a very long story.
"No. But to be fair we're almost there, and the angles of Terry's camera phone work left out my cuffs by design, but one can't objectively look at that video and come to any other conclusion than she did."
"Which was?"
"That I was experienced and more comfortable in this aspect of life, and that women were the trial experimental part for me, and implied in there someplace was that it was a failed experiment."
"Derrick was a bastard, in other words."
"Exactly, an especially cunning one though. Well anyway, it was naive of me to think I would be entertaining only Tim that night, and proof of this came shortly afterwards when two of the guys picked me up like a toy and held me aloft while a third literally ripped my nice dress from my body, destroying it in the process. They tossed me around like a rag doll in a windstorm, I've never felt so helpless in my entire life, but I at the same time had teased the crap out of them earlier, so maybe I had this coming.
“My other clothes went next, they stripped me naked, ruining everything I had to wear out of here and throwing it immediately in the trash, with the exception of my shoes. My tiny cage, chain, and plug got some attention then, as did my hairless grooming, the effect quite feminizing then, just as I suppose it is now.
“I ended up with my right cheek pressed firmly to the kitchen's heated tile floor, but my ass in the air with my ankles and wrists bound together as they were, legs spread wide. I was helplessly held down as I felt my plug popped from my butt, then some cold lube spread on it, only to be pushed back in once again. They do this several times with an audible 'pop' each time that I groan in time with. Finally they leave it out and it swings on the chain attaching it to my tiny cage, but only because they have other plans.
“This ends up being another first, the plug conditioning me for it, I'm convinced now intentionally. I've grown used to it, so when one of the guys pushes up to me back there I find it at least possible to relax those muscles. His hairy legs are in direct contact with my smooth ones though, this just more sensory overload for me. I'm able to just see who it is out of the corner of my left eye, and I'm surprised to see it's not Terry, but what I don't see is that he has his phone in his hands recording the epic event. Other hands grab at my boobs, pinching my nipples and pulling at my rings, the same rings that keep my nipples almost perpetually erect.
“The man behind me is getting just a little more aggressive by that point, his entry not terrible all things considered. I'm grunting with every thrust now, getting pushed along the tile floor in tiny increments with each stroke, the feeling of something going ever deeper inside me indescribable. I then become aware of a splayed pair of naked legs to the left and in front of me, the man plopped down with a thud right in my path, cock at the ready. I've already set the bar pretty high on my oral services, so to do any less for him could spell disaster for me. I know the man's name, and the other's too, but they aren't the major players in this, Terry and Tim are, it's their place, and I'm their prisoner.
“'I want a little of what Tim just had,' he tells me unnecessarily, although even this was a kind gesture. I do the best I can with him, but the position isn't perfect, and I'm constantly moving and distracted from the thrusting behind me. The guy behind is bumping me inside, he's finally deep enough, and it feels good, very good in fact. I'm making all kinds of obscene noises around the cock in my mouth, I sound like a steam locomotive going up a steep hill, and this continues until the man back there finishes off inside me, that feeling truly incredible, as I'm sure you know.
“Then I feel it - I haven't felt this in months, almost a year by that time - I'm going to cum. What that man has done to me, and for me, has thrown a switch for me. I feel it, pushing out of me, painfully; I never thought this wonderful feeling could actually hurt, but it does. It hits the floor between my legs, several jets of it, but I don't know how much is actually there yet. I get a firm swat on my ass as a manly thank you, but I don't feel the relief cumming ordinarily gives me. No matter, I have somebody else to service, and he's been patient with me. I take care of him, giving him my full attention now.
“The second I'm done Tim puts my nose right in the puddle of nasty cum that I have apparently made on HIS floor, it looks disgusting and unhealthy, but Tim doesn't care. I've soiled his floor, and there is only one option for me.
“I lap up my mess as Terry's camera catches it all, that video too for Beth's and Derrick's viewing pleasure in mere minutes, my fate sealed."
"That's an incredible story, did you sign the papers and move out right away?" I asked. I had several other questions too, but I had to let Pansy go now, it had been hours by this point.
"No, they weren't letting me go that easy, the reason why they had me out of the house during their vacation was that the contractors Beth had hired were building a kind of rental apartment in the bottom floor of the house... for me. When I was gone for good they could obviously rent it out to somebody else, and I'm sure they have by now, but I lived downstairs, serving them for months after their vacation."
"I have a bunch of questions, but I'll keep them for another day. So my last question is, why have you told me all this?"
"Is it not obvious? I need you to get that key back for me. They'll only give it to another woman, one who knows the entire story, all the ugly and embarrassing details. I've held little back, you have to see this, I have my suspicions as to exactly why, but I want to keep them to myself for the time being. I will obviously be in your debt if you agree to meet with them and get my key back for me, and I mean like anything under the sun debt. I know it's a lot to ask..."
"I'll think about it..."