Surprise!

 

I had not been feeling well lately, but like a lot of men, was reluctant to visit the doctor out of the male illusion that I would be okay. And so I did nothing until it was too late.

I knew the problem, whatever it was, had become more serious when I started having cramps, and morning sickness.  At least that was what I guessed. 

After one particularly unpleasant bout, I gathered myself together and made an appointment with the doctor I had visited infrequently during my 23 years of life.

After numerous tests and x-rays, and other medical mysteries, the verdict was in. …..

“You have a very rare form of cancer”, the doctor said.  “It’s called ‘Spontaneous Pubic Migration’, or ‘TPM”.

“Is there anything I can do”, I asked.

“Not much”, the doctor replied.  “The cancer is literally eating your reproductive system.  Everything from your testes to your prostate.”

“What can I do about it?” I asked again.

“Virtually nothing”, the doctor said.  “Untreated, it’s a terminal condition.”

My mind seized on the ‘untreated’ prognosis.

As I sat there dumfounded, it began to sink in that I was going to die!

It’s something that I had never considered.  Something that seemed so remote that it was as if it was never going to happen to me.

As my mind spun out of control, I began grasping at any straw…..

“Untreated”, I croaked.  “Is there a treatment I can take?  Special diet or something?”

“Well, there is an experimental treatment.  It’s pretty radical, and has had limited success.”

“Anything”, I said.  “What are the odds of survival?”

“About 50-50”, the doctor aid.  “But it would require a massive change in your lifestyle.”

“Surely it would be worth it”, I heard myself saying.”  “Can you refer me?”

“Yes, of course”, he said.   “But I have to point out that it will really change you.  You’ll have to change your life.”

I thought for a minute, and still grasping at straws, figured I rather change my life than die. 

“I’m sure I can change”, I said.  “Anything”

“Well, you should know the details before you make such a drastic decision”, he said.

“First of all, you’d have to change sex!  This cancer only attacks males, and to totally cure it, we’d have to change you into a woman.”

“What??!!??“ 

He paused, and waited a moment for that to soak in!

My mind raced with questions.

Finally, I blurted out, “You mean…”

I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“You mean, make me into a woman?”

“Yes”, he said.  “We’d have to remove all your reproductive organs before the cancer kills you, and turn you into a functioning woman.”

“But I don’t know anything about being a woman”, I protested.

“Yes”, the doctor said.  “You’d have to be retrained to accept life as a woman, in order to become one.  It takes about a year of training, in addition to the surgeries and psychological conditioning to accept your new life.  This is where most guys can’t take it, and wash out of the program.”

“What happens to them?” I asked.

“The suicide rate is high – about 50 percent, as I mentioned.  They just can’t adapt.”

“And the rest?” I asked.

“A good rate of adjustment.  Better than the alternative!”

It suddenly dawned on me that he was talking not only about the abstract idea of living as a woman, he was also saying, without saying that I’d become a plaything for a man.

I had no objection to being with a man – or being a sexual partner for a man.  I had no moral judgments about sex, and in fact, considered myself bisexual.  That old joke came to mind, “I have to buy all the sex I get!"”  (Get it?  Buy-sexual!)

As if he had read my mind, he ventured, “Of course you realize, that you’ll have to adjust your sexual orientation.  As a woman, you’d be expected to have sex with men.”

I didn’t want to tell him that as a bisexual, I already knew how to do that.  But my mind had never dwelled on the idea of intercourse with a man.  The idea, when brought to mind, became intriguing.  Somehow I knew I could do it.

I also realized that the doctor was thinking of a sex change within the male mind-set, while I was thinking of the possibilities based on a more open approach to sexual pleasure.  In my mind, it might not be too bad being a woman.  But how much of a woman, I wondered.

“What all is involved?” I asked.

“From the literature I’ve read, it’s a process.” He said.  “First we send you to the Meyers Clinic for sex reassignment surgery.  Your male sex organs will be removed and/or changed into female genitalia.  You’ll get a functional vagina and clitoris, some feminization surgery, a gastric bypass, followed up by at least a year of training and hypnosis to acclimate yourself to your new role in life."

“You’ll have to sever your ties with family and friends, perhaps on the pretext that you are taking a career change and moving away from this area.  You’ll have to live as a woman from then on.  If you prefer women, after your surgery and training, you’ll probably want to adopt a lesbian lifestyle.  But the emphasis in your training will be to relate romantically to men.”

“Why the gastric bypass?” I asked.

“Well, to permanently reduce your weight, and help develop your figure”, he offered. “You’ll never have to diet, and you can eat anything you want, and as much as you want without gaining weight.”

“And feminization?” I asked.

“To make you look more like a woman – to reduce your male characteristics, while developing female ones.  For instance, once the clinic removes your testicles and male organs, your body will begin producing estrogen, which will start the process of developing secondary sexual characteristics, much like a girl going through puberty.  Your breasts will develop, your hair will grow, your skin will soften, all while losing weight and developing shape.”

“I have already started that process, I think”, I said to the doctor.  I’ve noticed my nipples have started to stick out a bit, and they sort of tingle as they brush the inside of my shirts.”

“Yes,” the doctor said.  “That’s the start of it.  If untreated, they won’t grow very much – you won’t get man-boobs or anything like that, but they will be tender until you die, and they may stick out quite a bit.”

I wondered how much a “bit” was in his mind.

Pragmatically I asked, “When can we start?”

“The sooner the better”, the doctor replied.  “We want to catch the SPM before it goes much further.  I’d suggest you start preparing your family, friends, and neighbors that you’ll be leaving shortly, then do it.”

 

 

THE MEYERS CLINIC

Read about the Meyers Clinic, and the beginning of her training in Chapter 2 of SURPRISE!

 

 

17.07.10