Part 18
My heart was in my throat. I played nervously with my fingers throughout the entire journey, watching the world pass us by as the minutes on the truck turned to hours, as Jade went through several states of tiredness and as the morning sun crawled across the sky. I had every right to be nervous, today was the day all the hours of training had been for, today was finally the day that I would audition for the Pony trials, it was a day of complete mystery for me as I was still so unsure on how it was going to turn out.
Jade's eyes fell once again, allowing her head to follow shortly after, soon afterwards the typical 'thud' of her head lightly banging against the passenger door window followed, it had been a noise both Beth and I had become used to. It wasn't surprising that Jade was so tired, we did spend half the night going over the finer details of our dressage audition, making sure everything was as perfect as we could make it. I wasn't affected by the lack of sleep, my heart pounding against my chest for the entire journey as anxiety crept into every inch of my body was enough to keep me wide awake.
Beth stayed silent as she focused on the road, the conversations at the beginning of the trip faded rather quickly. To my surprise, Harriet told me that we would be setting off from the stables in the truck that Saffron was in the first time I had met her, I hardly ever saw the massive vehicle move in my months working at Harriet's, apparently it was only used for events such as these. I was sandwiched between the older woman and Jade, sitting in the middle of the cab as it hummed along the road. The entire back section of the vehicle was storage for all my ponyplay gear, my suit, my harnesses and my dressage equipment, Beth even told me there was a way to store an actual ponygirl by attaching certain restraints to the sides, floor and ceiling of the vehicle; however she said this with a teasing wink which made me uncertain of it's possibility.
The second surprise of the day was seeing all the other member's of my 'family' gather at the square to see me off. Abigail, Saffron, Chloe, Lily, Kathia and Nicole had all said what they wanted to, gave me a hug or even a kiss, it was all their own way of wishing me luck. I smiled to myself as I remembered looking in the side mirror of the vehicle, watching everyone waving at us as they got further away. It was taking longer than I thought to realise I was this loved, almost as if it was a foreign feeling to me.
"How are you holding up?" Beth asked, as quietly as she could to not wake the sleeping girl up, but loud enough for me to hear her over the hum of the engine.
"I'm okay, I think," I replied, still fidgeting with my fingers.
Beth took her hand off the gearstick and placed it on top of mine, the warmth of her palm was already comforting and allowed me a second of peace to stop digging my nails into my skin.
"You'll be fine, you'll be more than fine actually… you'll be amazing."
"Thank you."
Beth took her eyes off the road for a second, taking in the sight of the nervous girl into her side. Surprisingly, she smiled despite my obvious anxiety. Her eyes returned back to the road, but the grin remained.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Just… you," she said before clearing her throat, "It's just seeing how far you've come in such a short time, it wasn't that long ago since you were that nervous little pony I was holding in my arms in that hut. But here you are…"
I interrupted, "Yeah, the nervous part never left, I'm scared I'm going to mess things up in front of the judges."
"You'll be fine. Just do everything you've practised and you'll get through without any hesitation."
I nodded.
Beth glanced back at me, well more towards Jade, making sure the woman next to me was definitely asleep.
The older woman leaned in, asking me another question, "Did you ever talk to Chloe about what you said that day?"
"About what?"
"You know, about how you felt when you first came here? How you felt like you were just using her for a place to stay."
"I… umm, no. I haven't said anything about that, I don't think I want to as I know it will hurt her. I don't feel that way anymore anyways, Chloe means more to me than just a place to stay; she's a really good friend."
Beth nodded, "Maybe you should, I can see you are still struggling with the guilt. I know you feel differently now, but getting it off your chest will help."
"I.. don't feel guilty about it anymore… I don't think I do…"
"Is that all you feel guilty for?"
"Wow, you are going deep today?" I tried to laugh it off, "What's with all the psychology talk?"
"Sorry, it's just that I want to help. After what happened the other day, I just want you to know that we aren't going anywhere, you have a home here with us."
I was confused, what she was saying didn't make much sense, "I… Thank you, but you don't have to say that, I know how welcoming you guys are, you've been very kind to me."
"Okay, as long as you are sure."
"Yeah… I am- Beth, is everything okay?"
I tried to laugh again, but Beth was very serious, she was hyper focused on the road as her mouth opened up once again to speak.
"I know you are happy at the stables, with us, Jade and Chloe. Are you happy with yourself though?"
"I… uh… I-I."
"I don't want to pick your brain now, I know you already have so much to think about with this audition. It's just something has stuck with me, both about what you said at that hut, and how you were when you stole that suit from Harriet."
"I am sorry about that, you know I…"
"I know you are, yes." She interrupted me this time, "But the stables isn't going anywhere, Chloe, Jade and everyone will always be there for you, you don't have to worry about all of that."
I felt tears slowly build in my eyes. I had a strange feeling; I knew where she was going with this, but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the words, "Beth?" I asked, my voice breaking slightly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to get you worked up, we can just forget about it if you want? I just wanted to make sure you knew."
"Knew about what?" A voice asked from beside me.
I turned around, Jade was glancing between us both, it was clear she had been awake for a short while, listening in on the quiet conversation I was having with the driver.
Beth apologised, "Sorry, I thought she was still asleep. You don't have to say anything."
"About what?" Jade asked again.
I struggled to find the words, I understood exactly what Beth was getting on at, but it was a feeling I had pushed deep down inside myself, however I realised that wasn't the case. The way I had been acting only confirmed my biggest fear, an internal battle that never ceased since I came back to the town.
"I…" I struggled to find the words, "I'm not… good enough."
"What? What do you mean?"
Finally, the tear broke free and sprinted down my cheek, it was only a second later that the tear dropped onto the top of my shirt.
"Heather?" Jade asked, again.
"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have brought it up," Beth said out loud, "We will be there in half an hour if you two want to get some more sleep beforehand?"
Jade repeated my name in a questioning tone, "Heather?"
I kept opening my mouth to say something but no noise ever came out, either my voice would break as soon as I said my first word or I would have to suppress the urge to cry. No matter how hard I tried, I struggled to tell the woman I loved the truth.
"Did you want me to tell her?" Beth's question was comforting, she somehow figured out the issue that plagued my mind, despite how far I tried to bury it. If Beth didn't bring it up, it still would have resurfaced before long, it was an ongoing battle with my own mind.
I nodded lightly, allowing the tears to flow as the older woman described perfectly what was on my mind all the time. Jade stayed silent as she took in all the information.
"Heather doesn't think highly of herself, she's never had. In fact, I would go as far as to say she hates herself… as silly of an idea as that might be to us."
I saw Jade stare at me with an intense look out of the corner of my eye as Beth's painful but true words continued, "I don't know what happened to Heather when she lived in the city, she must have found herself in such a bad situation that she had to turn to the kindness of an old friend to get away, an act that tortures her to this day. Heather feels that she doesn't deserve this, the open arms of Chloe, the job at the stables, the love of all of her friends… hell, she probably doesn't think she deserves being with you. To her, this is all temporary, one day her life will come crashing down, that Chloe will kick her out, Harriet will fire her and you probably wouldn't want to be with her anymore. That's the way she sees everything, she's holding onto every single moment and cherishing it because she feels like it won't last, she's just waiting for the fall to happen and punishing herself for all the love she's received from us all."
"But… that's dumb," Jade replied, her voice much louder than it was before, "She knows we won't ever do that to her, she has a home here and friends. We won't ever push her away."
I wiped my eyes after a group of tears managed to fall down, I was between the two women and yet felt as if I was not part of the conversation, it wasn't like I could add anything to it, Beth could read me like a book.
"It might sound like that to us, but to Heather it's a painful thought that she fights against daily. It isn't so far-fetched though, is it? The reason for her recent breakdown was for her mother coming back into her life."
"Yeah…"
"Who wanted to take her away from this place and move in together in a completely different part of the country, away from her friends, her job and the people she cared about most. What her mother wanted was Heather's nightmare come true."
"Oh…"
"Am I right?" Beth turned towards me again.
I nodded, this time managing to say a word, despite how broken it was, "Yeah…"
Jade took both of my hands into hers, her eyes stared right into mine as I saw tears slowly forming in hers too, although it didn't look as if they were going to fall.
"Heather, I promise you that I will never let you go," she said carefully, "You will never leave my side, Chloe, Lily and everyone will always be there no matter what, nothing will ever change, do you hear me?"
I nodded again, "I do."
"Then stop worrying! You don't owe anyone anything, you are the kindest girl I have ever met. Please, stop thinking those stupid thoughts and just focus on yourself, focus on us."
"I will… thank you, Jade."
"It's settled then." She threw her arms around me, holding me as tightly as possible, "No more stupid thoughts."
"Well, that's sweet," Beth chimed in, "I know it's not exactly how you thought this day was going to go, but I bet it feels good to have that thought off your chest, doesn't it."
I wiped my face once again, "It does."
"Great, now get some rest. As I said before, we'll be there before you know it."
My nerves returned as they faded before. The van finally turned off the road, towards an entrance with a large metal gate and a speaker box standing right next to it, looking rather similar to the gate that hid Harriet's stables from view. This gate was adorned with an image of a herd of horses etched into the metalwork, galloping to the left with a large smoke trail behind them. It looked as innocent as any entrance to an equine property, until a closer inspection revealed that each horse had a female rider and each female was naked apart from a bondage harness, in fact the women were the ones in restraints whilst the horses were completely free of reins and saddles.
It was an image that had to be looked at closely to see the added detail, anyone who quickly glanced at it would have just seen the image for what it was.
"Name and registration number?" A voice of a mature woman crackled through the speaker, startling the three of us after staring at the gate for so long.
"Oh… The rider is Jade and the pony is Heather." Beth leaned out of the window and spoke clearly into the speaker, "The number is zero, seven, two, five."
The speaker returned to being silent for nearly half a minute before it came back to life. The motor of the gate screamed as the metal frame opened up for us, the woman's monotone voice returned, "Please park at your designated parking zone, one of the helpers will be with you shortly. Get your pony ready for their audition, but please do not leave your parking area until you have been seen to, breaking this rule could result in forfeit of your potential place in the Pony Trials. Thank you and have a nice day."
"Oh, wow. She sounds like a bundle of laughs." Jade sighed, resting her head on her hand as she continued looking through the passenger window.
"Thank you," Beth shouted out of the window.
The truck roared as it set off, behind the gate was a long path that we were forced to drive down. Around the path was a selection of fields, each properly maintained to a high standard. Some of the fields were used to keeping animals, some of them were for golfing and other sports and the rest were just empty. It took nearly five minutes for us to reach the building we were supposed to go to. A large house sat on a small hill, not quite the size of a manor but enough to catch our eyes, however the house was completely closed off from any person driving by and a young woman in a reflective vest ushered us further along the path, where we quickly found ourselves at what looked like a giant barn.
Around this barn were dozens of highlighted squares, large enough to fit a big vehicle in. Each square and number was painted onto the ground in bright white, making it stand out against the dark, green grass and almost impossible to miss your specific parking. At this point, around half of the squares were taken, with vehicles that looked almost identical to ours.
"Here we are, zero, seven, two, five," Beth called out in glee, glad that the journey was finally coming to an end, "I am going to have a good, hard stretch!"
"I don't see any of the other ponies," I stated, trying to look over Beth's body, at the other parked vehicles.
"Ofcourse you don't. They are prepared within the back of their trucks, like you will be soon. It's to stop the opposition from snooping in, believe it or not but there was quite a large cheating scandal about five years ago, so they've upped their security a fair amount."
"Wow, that's crazy."
"I'm going to go stretch my legs," Beth stated as she opened the door, letting in a fresh breeze from the outside world, she quickly leaned back towards me once her body was out of the cabin, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I am fine now," I nodded back, "It's good to get it out in the open, and off my chest."
"That's good. You don't ever have to worry, we are here for you through thick and thin."
With that, she closed the door behind her and took a few steps out, making sure not to step over the painted white line. The woman looked liberated to finally be released from the chair she spent the entire morning in. Jade had been unusually quiet since our talk, though we were left alone in the vehicle together, I began to dread what she had on her mind. Turning towards her, I saw she was still staring out of the window with a blank but thoughtful look on her face.
"Jade… I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner… it's just tough to talk about," I spoke quietly, "It was difficult to find the words to match how I felt, but I feel that Beth did an amazing job."
Jade didn't turn around, her gaze was fixed on the outside world, but she did respond back to me, "I get it, don't worry. It's just… I am your girlfriend, I feel like I should be the one to know these things first, that's all."
"I'm sorry," I repeated myself.
"I'm going to ask Saffron and Abigail to back off a little, also I'm not going to push you as far as I used to, at least for a while. I feel like it might be all too much for you."
"You don't need to do that, I actually enjoy the stuff you have planned for me despite how it looks like I protest. I wouldn't give it up for the world."
"I know, it will just be for a while."
I felt a little heartbroken, but I kept the conversation there. I didn't want Jade to take what happened the wrong way, I still loved everything we did together, I enjoyed being her submissive and the thought of being given to Saffron and Abigail again excited me in a indescribable way. I didn't want to protest any further, feeling as if we had explored enough emotions for the day, yet we still had the entire audition to get through.
We sat in silence for a little longer, before it was interrupted by the driver's side door opening up again and the older woman sticking her head through, "Right, Heather. Let's get you changed and ready then, yeah?"
*** There was slight tension in the air was Jade and Beth worked on me, making sure i was correctly locked within the suit, every buckle had to be on, the harness had to be tightened enough to not move whilst I was in motion and every additional accessory had to be locked according to the Pony Trials' standards. I felt more like I was being prepped for a job interview than to spend the day showing off my dressage techniques.
The two women were silent the entire time, from when they watched me strip off to when they began to place the latex suit on me, followed by the stomach harness, boots, head harness, arm restraints and then the additions that were exclusive to dressage ponyplay.
I must admit, my heart fluttered when Beth brought out my old suit, the beautiful silver colour shimmered in the bright lights of the vehicle, catching my eye before it was opened to allow my nude body to walk into it. It felt like I had returned home, the way the latex felt against my skin was as welcoming as it was familiar, the outfit hugged my body in just the right way; supportive yet happy to show off my nude form underneath. Whilst I was grateful for my time within the blue suit, the one initially designed for Nicole, this was a part of me, this was Heather in pony form.
The armbinder no longer had the same effect on me, wearing it for nearly a week straight whilst Jade and I focused entirely on training had since dulled the sexual teasing it had brought me before, it felt like a hindrance I had to endure for a better outcome from this audition. What didn't help was the seriousness of our training, only having so little time to prepare put me into the mindset that the armbinders; along with the other restraints were not for fun, they were not pleasurable, they were there entirely for the judges.
"Okay… and we are done," Beth stated as she finished checking over the last of the buckles.
The two women stepped back, taking the time to admire their work. Jade had remained as quiet as before, however she seemed to share the same enthusiasm as the older woman. I took a moment to look down, everything was set. Every single piece of equipment was locked on as snug as they could have been, polished and feeling as if they were brand new. The additions to the suit looked amazing, the straps that hung off my mouthpiece that was attached to my stomach harness hung in the air, bopping and floating with every step I would take.
Beth reached into her pocket and brought out a make-up mirror, far too small to let me see my entire body was big enough to show me that the head harness was attached properly, not a single strand of hair was out of place and the dressage broach was placed perfectly in the center of my hood.
"There's nothing more to say, girls." Beth closed the mirror and placed it back into her pocket, "I've done all I can, it's now up to you."
"Thank you so much." Jade smiled, grabbing the one piece of equipment she needed; the riding crop.
"Knock 'em dead."
As soon as we were done, a small collection of knocks came from the back door of the vehicle, along with a female voice asking if we were ready. Beth yelled back that we were as she walked towards the door, she opened the door briefly and the person who owned the voice walked in; wasting no time at all.
She was a young woman, and must have been the same age as me. Her pale skin was covered in all black attire, her leggings, t-shirt and shoes were all the same colour, the only striking part of her outfit was the word 'Crew' writing on the front and the back of her shirt. Attached to her ear was a small microphone with the quiet buzzing of people talking on the other end could be heard as soon as the door was closed once more. She was cute, with a short 'pixie' haircut that was several bright and dark shades of brown and large eyes, she easily caught my attention.
There was something weirdly familiar with the woman, yet I didn't know a single female with hair that short. She looked at every one of us with a welcoming, humble smile before she began to read from the clipboard that was in her hands.
"So.. Harriet's Stables? Trainer is Jade and the pony is Heather?" she said, "Is this all correct?"
"Yes it is," Beth answered.
"Okay, well I'll get you to walk with me to the arena as soon as you are all ready to go. From the schedule you'll be the fourth one in the queue, it will take about ten minutes for each pony, five minutes for the show and then five minutes for the judges to have a talk after. During this time, they may approach you to ask you questions or inspect the pony physically."
"We understand."
"Perfect… Then I…" The woman ticked off some things on the sheet of paper in front of her, after that she looked back up at us, taking a quick glance at Beth and then an even longer glance towards me.
"Is everything alright, hun?" Beth asked, taking a step forwards towards the girl.
The young woman smiled at us before taking a quick breath in, hugging the clipboard tight against her chest, "I know this isn't very professional of me and I know I shouldn't be bring my personal life into this, but I just wanted to say that I visited Harriet's Stables around half a year ago and it was an amazing experience, despite how briefly I stayed."
Beth placed her hand on the woman's arm, "I thought you looked familiar! Did you book a session with us? I never forget a face, but I am dreadful with names."
I blew out of the gag, forcing the horse snort noise to echo throughout the vehicle. I wanted Beth to know that I recognised the woman too, however I was unable to remember exactly where I knew her from.
The woman laughed as she heard my realistic horse snort, "I didn't book a session with you, I actually delivered something to you. However, I was with a friend and she stayed with you for a short while, her name was…"
"Becky!" Beth almost screamed out, "Oh, I remember her, cute little thing. Then that makes you Samantha!"
"Yes, it does."
Oh, come here!" Beth gave the woman the tightest hug I had ever seen her give someone before, I expected to hear the young woman's bones begin to crack under the pressure, but surprisingly she let her clipboard fall to the floor and hugged Beth back.
Samantha? I thought to myself. That name did ring a bell, something at the very back of my mind told me I had interacted with her before. The face looked very familiar, but it was that hairstyle, I can't recall seeing any woman with such short, boyish hair at the stables, but Becky was a name I recognised, she was a young woman who spent half a day with us once, a surprisingly timid yet caring girl who adored her time with us.
My eyes widened as I pictured the woman in front of me with slightly longer, black hair. It was a perfect match to the person that came to the stables with Becky. It was scary how a simple change in hairstyle was enough to make me forget who was standing in front of me, but then it had been half a year since I had seen this Samantha.
Beth finally let go of the poor girl, "Oh, how is Becky? We thought we would see her back at the stables again, but we never heard back from her."
"Oh, life became rather complicated unfortunately, but she is okay… she's very happy."
"That's great to hear and what about yourself? You look so different, so grown up."
"Yeah, last time you saw me I had pitch black hair about this high." She placed her hand next to her head, "My partner really wanted me to get rid of my black hair and go back to my natural roots and honestly I felt like it was time for a change."
"It really suits you."
"Yeah, if she has her way I'll be blonde the next time you see me." Samantha laughed, "I just wanted to thank you for that day, it was amazing to meet your ponies, it really opened my eyes up to this life."
"Is that why you are now working here, for the Pony Trials?"
"Oh, no. Tanya hooked me up with this job, but it's just a temporary position. She's found me lots of work similar to this, actually."
Beth grinned, "I'm guessing they are all BDSM related?"
"Yeah, she's really not that interested in giving me normal jobs. That's the kind of world we live in though, once you've dipped your toes into this life, you can never really leave."
"Ain't that the truth."
Samantha regained her composure, checking the clipboard for all the relevant information before making sure her earpiece and microphone was on correctly, "Now back to work. If you could all follow me, now that you are ready for your audition."
Her voice lost the emotion from before, becoming much more authoritative before she left the vehicle.
"Yes, sure. Thank you." Beth complied with the woman, placing her hand behind my back to encourage me to walk forwards.
Jade, who was surprisingly quiet throughout the conversation, gave me a quick smile before she followed Samantha, I stayed behind my partner as closely as I could and the older woman stayed behind me. I wasn't sure why, but seeing Samantha after all this time seemed to have cured my anxiety, I headed towards the arena with more confidence than I ever had running up to this event.
The anxiety came back.
Unfortunately, it was against the rules for anyone but the trainer to be with the pony whilst in the arena, so Beth wished us luck before she made her way to a viewing seat. The name 'arena' was a suitable fit, the dressage area was a large rectangle, a rubber floor that was almost clear of any obstacles apart from a few small jumping poles. Around this arena were two rows of seats that covered the entire rectangle, easily the building could seat one hundred viewers… or should they be called voyeurs?
Harriet and Beth told me multiple times that every pony stable was different, Harriet loved the look of the full latex suits to cover the body, hiding the naked form yet was tight and fitting enough to compliment the natural beauty of the wearer. I only realised how right they were when I was standing on the outside of the arena with what would be my competition, every single pony was wearing almost entirely different attire. There were two girls in latex outfits, yet theirs were entirely different to mine. One of them had a full pony outfit, the hooves, body and head looked as if they were all one massive costume, not the selection of smaller items I had on my person. Even her head was in the realistic shape of a horse head, adding another two feet to her body and giving her a frightening look, I struggled to see where the woman could see from.
The other latex user was more similar to my style, in fact I would say her outfit had more in common with the summer attire I had worn once. Her shapely body was covered in what looked like a latex leotard, but showed off much more of the naked form underneath the suit than what Harriet would ever have us wear. It travelled up rather high, showing off the wearer's legs and waist before finally reaching the shiny material. The top half of her wasn't any better, with the latex barely containing the woman's breasts. However, the outer harnesses kept any body parts from escaping from their captivity.
That paled in comparison to the other pony, it was a sight I glanced at once and now I refuse to turn my head in her direction. The woman was completely naked, not a single piece of latex or other material covered her modesty, only the black harnesses made any effort in hiding the nude form, completely covering the wearer's sex but allowing her breasts to be fully free. Her harnesses looked eerily similar to mine, the head and hooves looked like they could have been made by the same company, but there was no full stomach harness, only a collection of straps that stretched from her private area to her chest.
"Oh god, do you see that?" Jade whispered, staring directly at her body.
I mentally begged for her to look away, or pay attention elsewhere… just please stop staring at the nude girl… please. Gently, I kicked my hooved foot into her leg, trying to get her attention away from the nude woman near us and towards the judges.
"She's not wearing a single thing, do you think we should try that too?" She asked, turning around to look at me, "I could see you walking around the square with nothing on but your harnesses."
I urged her to look forward, I didn't want her muttering to attract the attention of the people around us, especially if it caught the attention of the pony we were talking about. Carefully, I once again glanced in the direction of the almost naked pony, her trainer had a very pleased look on her face, looking as dressed as Jade and the rest of the trainers were; she must have gotten a kick out of exploiting the bound girl in that manner.
It was tough, but I managed to pull my gaze away from the duo. The last two ponies looked similar to each other, but it was clear that they had zero connection with each other. Whilst their restraints were similar to what the rest of us were wearing, they weren't locked within latex or naked, it looked like spandex covered their skin, with one pony dressed in a beautiful blue colour whilst the other was more of an orange.
We all stood there for what felt like hours, stood silently for any simple thing to happen, none of the trainers were confident to talk to each other or make any type of noise, they were all happy just to stand behind their respective pony and wait for it to start. The time gave me enough time to look through the seats that viewed the arena, my eyes glanced over a few dozen people I didn't know; most likely friends and family of the ones participating in the audition, eventually I managed to find Beth, who gave me a short wave. Samantha, along with the other members of the 'crew' all took seats at the very front of the audience.
Eventually three older women entered the area, they were all the same age as Harriet and Beth and paid no attention to us as they walked across to a viewing table, taking their seats in complete silence. Their lack of acknowledgement to the people participating came off as rude, even one of the trainers scoffed and tutted at the lack of communication between us and them. Eventually, one of the members of the crew came out and stood in the middle of the arena, she went over the rules and explained pretty much everything Samantha already went over when we were in the back of the vehicle.
This lasted a few minutes before she called out two names, clearly the name of a pony and her trainer/owner. To our surprise, it was the naked pony, the woman standing behind her gladly took her reins and pretty much dragged the poor beast down to where the woman stood just moments before, showing her off not just to us, but now she had the full view of the arena. I caught the sight of several audience members talking to each other in near silence.
The crew member left and the trainer introduced both herself and her half naked pony, as well as the stable she was from. She seemed to speak with the same level of confidence she had whilst she was standing next to us, showing off the fact that she had no issue with public speaking.
It wasn't long afterwards that the pair began their routine, their own selected music began playing through some speakers, watching the naked pony standing still was one thing, but seeing her nude form glide around the arena easily took everyone's attention. She did everything perfectly, following all the silent commands from her trainer without any hesitation, jumping over the short fences and finishing the entire routine with a flourish. It was an amazing show to watch, but at the same time it made me very self-aware of how our routine would compare. Were we as good as these two women? Or were we amateurs in comparison to them?
The next two auditions were just as amazing. Whilst the attire of the ponies had changed, their routines and their professionalism hadn't. Even though it was clear that one of the ponies was much more nervous than all the others, she performed every second without missing a beat, there was no way they've had months of practise like I had, they must have been doing this for years; the Pony Trials must have meant alot to these girls.
"Next up, Jade and her pony, Heather," the crew member called out.
I was numb, it didn't even register that it was my own name coming out of that woman's mouth. I was still focusing on the previous trainer and pony leaving the arena, both looking pleased and exhausted from their performance.
"Heather?" Jade whispered, "Come on, it's our time now."
I pulled my glance away from the two, looking forwards towards my own trainer. She was urging me with her eyes to follow her close, not wanting to make a big scene about her pony being uncooperative, we hadn't even begun moving yet and I could see the judges writing something as they glanced between us and the pages in front of them.
There was no other choice, we had to run the routine no matter how unprepared I felt Jade and I were. This was the moment my life had been heading towards, from the moment I returned back home, from when I first stepped into the pony outfit, from meeting Jade, Beth and the rest of my 'family', from the moment I was first introduced to the idea of the Pony Trials. This was where I meant to be.
My hooved feet finally moved forwards, as weak as my legs were at that moment in time, they still had the strength to carry me when my heart didn't. I followed my trainer from the darkness of the waiting area towards the center of the arena, the collection of lights illuminated directly onto us; causing the entire audience to disappear into an empty void. It was just me and Jade, standing in the large rectangular space… alone.
Jade introduced us to the emptiness of the room before everything went silent once more. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, feeling like it was about to burst out of my chest and through the layer of latex. It was an intense moment, knowing that I had so much to do, so much to perform but just waiting to actually go through with it. I had never felt a moment so painful that didn't actually physically hurt.
Before long, the familiar music started up and our routine began, I let out a huge sigh of relief because of the tension being released from my shoulders. It was just the wait beforehand that was a struggle and actually moving seemed to ease everything. I began as we always did, I would trot the perimeter of the arena, beginning slowly before speeding up; making sure to keep my legs up the entire time. Jade stayed in the middle, calling out to me in a commanding tone exactly what it was I needed to do, making sure to swipe the riding crop down as she did this to seem in control.
This was all a front, it was for everyone involved today. The words Jade were calling out were meaningless, the routine was well planned, every second of every minute for the entire duration was filled with mental commands I gave myself. 'Move to this spot', 'Wait here', 'Move this certain way'. Jade just pretended to be in control.
After I was finished moving around the arena, I stopped in one of the corners and waited for Jade to 'command' me once again. As soon as she yelled and swiped her crop once more, I began the sideways movement I had known so well, yet it was a struggle to learn. Having to glide gracefully whilst facing forward and have my legs move sideways was a tough task from day one, the chance of my heavy, hooved feet smacking into each other was high, yet I somehow made it through to the other side without tripping over myself.
Jade yelled at me again, this time it was to tell me to move to the other side of the arena and glide across at the opposite angle. Weirdly, I was bored. I had done this routine so many times that it didn't take much brain power to focus on my body, I knew I was at the audition, I knew I had dozens of people staring at me from beyond the darkness… but it didn't feel any different to the many times Jade and I practiced.
We ran together afterwards, she was on the side of the area and I took my place in the middle. She had to run next to me when I ran and jumped over the fences. This was one of the techniques we hadn't spent much time training in, to me it was very simple, run and jump over a wooden, small fence in the middle of the arena, sometimes having to jump over two fences one after the other. In the real world of equine, horses would have to jump over varying sizes of fences. This wasn't the case with ponygirls, being bound in this form with the heavy hooved feet made it almost impossible to get any height, especially when compared to the real animal. Instead, the fences stood at a foot or two tall and it was the frame of the pony and she jumped that was measured.
To me, it was easy. That was why we hadn't trained that much with this particular routine, I could do it with my eyes closed. That was why it was a surprise when I heard the tap of my hoof against the wooden fence, a sound that echoed throughout the arena as easily as it happened, making sure that everyone heard the mistake I made.
I wanted to scream the moment that sound hit my ears, I could feel the heat in my cheeks from the annoyance and embarrassment, I was the first pony to make that mistake. Hitting the beam was okay, however knocking the beam off its post was points against me and I couldn't look back, despite how much I wanted to. In my mind, I mentally imagined Beth shaking her head, placing her hands over her eyes to avoid seeing me embarrass myself even more.
Jade had me run around the arena once more, this gave me time to glance over the fence I brushed. I begged, I begged not to see that fence post on the floor. Luckily, the fence was still standing, not even a bit out of place despite the contact with my foot. Sadly, it wasn't up to me if that small connection had any effect on my overall score, but I had to continue to do my best.
Eventually, it was the big finale. The unique part of the show that was supposed to impress the judges by its originality, the element of the show that plagued my mind for so long, the one that caused me endless sleepless nights and a huge amount of stress, only finally putting me as ease from a weekend with the two tall women; from watching an ice skating documentary that Abigail loved so very much. Jade joined me in the arena, standing in one of the corners and I stood on the opposite side of her. She gave me a slight nod to tell me to move forward, I did, moving as fast as she was before we connected in the very middle of the area. Jade jumped and landed on me, placing her legs behind my body with her feet digging into my butt.
She leaned backwards, holding her body out at a complete ninety degrees to me as I began to spin around. It was the exact same way the two ice-skaters finished their show, but they had elegance and ice, I had to spin my hooved feet as smoothly as I could in a circle, over and over. It was far from an easy task, from wearing what was essentially high heels, with all the restraints around my body and my arms tied behind my back, Jade had to rely on me and the strength in her legs to keep her attached to me.
It went amazingly well. I caught myself glancing at the beautiful creature in front of me, spinning almost in slow motion as the audition was coming to an end. The wind travelling through her hair, whipping past with the largest grin on her face, the weightlessness of her body as she focused it entirely into me. She was free; she looked it, at least. It wasn't hard at all to keep spinning, my body was doing that for me, allowing me time to enjoy the sight of Jade in front of me. Eventually, her eyes reconnected with mine, telling me to stop the spinning so she could jump off me and we could have our bow towards the audience, making sure the entire process was as smooth as possible.
I began to slow down, Jade brought her body back up, placing her free hand on my shoulder and releasing her legs from behind my body. It was a motion we had practised so many times with each practise involving me being in my full pony gear. Jade had to push herself off me, giving me less than a second to take the force of her jump and reposition myself to land correctly. We practised it every single day since we learned about the change of schedule, I had landed perfectly each time Jade moved herself off me.
…Then why did I mess up this time?
Jade landed next to me and instantly began bowing to the audience as the music slowly faded out. My ankle went down at an angle, putting the entire pressure of my weight on the side of my foot, along with the weight the hoof added to this movement.
*CRACK*
I didn't know if that sound was real, it could have easily been heard in my head, but my mind wanted to make sure I felt the pain radiate from my foot. A sharp, endless pain that travelled upwards, drowning out any other noises apart from my own brain screaming from the sudden, blunt trauma. To make matters worse, I had to place my foot down normally to end the show which added pressure to the fresh pain I was feeling. To make matters even worse, I had to bow, smile and pretend I wasn't in agony as the audience gave their applause. To make it even more worse, I then had to walk back to where the rest of the ponies were and stand there and pretend I didn't just sprain my ankle.
I wanted to cry… I did cry. Despite the smile on my face, pain-induced tears filled my sight, that and the numerous stars that sparkled in front of my eyes.
"Oh god," I screamed to myself, finally sitting down at the back of the truck with Beth and Jade around me.
Jade didn't know what happened to me at first, after forcing me to walk behind her back towards where everyone else was, I had to struggle to maintain my balance on one foot as the next pony and trainer went through their performance. It wasn't an easy task whilst in my restraints, armbinder and heavy hooved feet. Eventually, she could see the amount of pain I was in and leant next to me, trying her hardest to keep me up straight without making it too obvious.
The last two ponies went on without a problem, but I wished over and over that their performances were already finished. It seemed that Beth saw what happened as she was already waiting for us by the door to the arena, leaving the seat the second she saw me bring my ankle down on the ground. Together, the two women helped me back to the truck with their arms around my shoulders. The bit gag was immediately taken off me by Jade before she armbinder, then I was gently sat down by the two before Beth went and took off the boot.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow," I yelped as the faux fur travelled over my already swollen ankle.
"Does it hurt?" Jade asked, placing a bottle of water into my sweaty hands.
I gritted my teeth, "No, it doesn't hurt at all, I'm just being dramatic."
"You don't have to be sarcastic."
Beth jumped in before we began arguing with each other, "It doesn't look that bad, probably just a sprain."
"Yeah," I covered my eyes, willing for the stars to go from my vision.
"If it makes you feel any better, you two did amazing out there, I'm so proud of you both."
"Thank you… thank you too, Jade. You did great."
My trainer laughed, "Thanks, but I'm not sure this is the time to be patting each other on the back, is Heather going to be okay?" She asked the older woman.
"Of course she'll be okay, it's just a sprain. Once the initial shock wears off, she'll be okay."
"Shall we go to a doctor? Or maybe somewhere to strap her foot up?"
"We have to wait here for a moment longer, one of the crew members will come to us and hand us an envelope with whether you passed or not. It might take a few minutes."
Jade seemed a little panicked, "What can we do until then?"
"Well, I have some pain pills in my purse. Jade, can you go and find Samantha, see if she can get us an ice pack or at least an ankle support?"
"Yeah, sure thing."
Jade almost jumped through the door, leaving me alone with the older woman. She was kneeling down on the floor of the truck with my bare, sweaty foot on her lap, trying to keep it from getting any pressure and causing me any unintentional pain. She reached into her bag and passed me a box of tablets, telling me to take two of them with the water Jade had given me.
I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry. Despite what happened I was in a state of limbo, I was in pain yet the tears never fell. It seemed like the pressure off my shoulders from actually completing the audition was somehow making me feel better from the current state I was in, a part of me was actually finding it funny that the first time I ever sprained my ankle in my life had to be today. At least everything was over, we just had to wait until we got the results and then we could go home.
"Don't worry, hun. You'll be just fine," Beth said in a calm tone.
I still had my eyes covered, willing the painful sensation away, "I know… thank you."
"How do you feel?"
"Been better."
"At least the worst is over."
"For the Pony Trials? Or my ankle?"
Beth guffawed, "Both, I think. It's the initially shock of the sprain I find the worst, you'll soon get used to it and the audition is over, so you don't have to worry about that anymore."
"I guess." I winced in pain, pushing my head into my arms, wishing I was elsewhere, "Can you please do something to stop the pain?"
"Well, you've taken the tablets and we will have to wait for Jade to come back, it's going to be a waiting game I'm afraid, babe."
"Is there anything you can do?"
"Well… how about I tell you a story? I told Harriet a story when she damaged her shoulder, helped her forget about the pain for a while."
"Sure… I'll take anything."
The older woman stopped and thought for a second, "Oh… I don't think I have any stories you'll be interested in. They will be far too boring for you."
"Ah… Umm," I grunted in pain as I thought, "What about Harriet? Why don't you tell me how you met?"
She laughed again, "And why would you want to know about that?"
"Well, it's your story to tell, it probably has something to do with ponyplay and the stables, so it has some connection to me being in this outfit right now. Please, I'll take anything just to focus on something else for a second."
"Okay, but please let me know if you get bored at all." She shifted herself to a more comfortable position before continuing, "Well, to understand this story, you must know I wasn't exactly a perfect child growing up… I was actually a really horrible person."
"You? Really?" I laughed for a second before the pain humbled me.
"It's true. I didn't get on well with my mother at all, we were always fighting… which got much worse the older I got. Does that sound familiar at all? It became so bad that my mother would send me to live with my grandpa for the summer break once, the idea of spending all that time with me at home was far too much for the old gal. My grandfather was a tough guy, he had a heart of gold but he was very strict with me when I wasn't cooperative."
"I can't imagine you being that way."
"I was eighteen years old when I was sent there. He lived in the middle of nowhere, a small village miles away from anything interesting, nothing surrounding his property apart from fields that belonged to other farmers. My mother knew I would hate it, I think she got a lot of pleasure in it, knowing that my grandad wouldn't take any shit I would throw at him. "So he got me to work, I was doing every chore he could think of, takin' care of his livestock and cleaning his house was the main jobs I had, but he made sure there was something else I had to do."
She looked up at me, probably noticing my reaction to all the work she had to do when she was younger.
"Don't take it the wrong way, he wasn't abusive or anything… In fact he was quite the sweetheart. If I didn't argue with him or talk bad about my mother, he was actually really easy-going and we did things together that a grandfather and daughter would do. "Anyways, I'm getting off-topic. One day, his neighbour falls ill; she was this lovely older woman who owned a large farmland next door. It was mostly an empty field as she didn't do much with it, she struggled to look after her animals as she got older and sold them mostly to my grandpa. As the woman is in hospital, my 'chores' after that was to look after her property. I no longer had to look after my grandpa's place or his livestock, but he wanted to make sure her house was clean and well-maintained for when she came home. I guess he enjoyed some peace and quiet from me and I had a place all to myself to… experiment."
This time she definitely noticed my reaction to that last word she said, giving her a puzzled, yet knowing look.
"I…was into self-bondage when I was younger. My prized possession at that age was this lovely bit of rope that wasn't too harsh on the skin. I took it with me to my grandpas and managed to hide it from both him and my mother, they never found out about it. At first I tied myself on my bed, placing something in my mouth to gag me and just writhing around feeling the restraints hold me in place, it just felt so…"
I noticed she was gingerly touching her shoulder, the words that came out of her mouth were more exotic and sounded sexual without meaning to. It might have been a memory, but it was clear it was playing in her mind as if she was actually there, in her younger body feeling the sexual tease of being tied up.
"As much as I enjoyed tying myself up on the bed, I knew there was something more… more intense I wanted to try. On this property was a barn with high up, thick wooden beams. I went in there with my rope, I took off my clothes leaving them in the hayloft and began tying this rope along the beam and around my body, not satisfied until I was hanging from this beam and the rope was tight enough that it needed more than just a good pull to undo."
Beth smiled, once again reliving the memory as if she was there.
"What happened?" I asked, gritting my teeth lightly.
"I got stuck… I tied the ropes too tight that I couldn't get my arms free of it."
"Oh… that's bad."
"No, it was good. For a long time I didn't notice, I forgot to gag my mouth but I was far too into the sensation. The feeling of being weightless, pulling against the bonds was amazing, beyond pleasure… beyond words. Then I realised I must have been in that position for a while and tried to get out, that's when the panicking started, when I kept moving but the rope never loosened… in fact I swear it was getting tighter."
"What happened?"
"I stopped for a second and looked down, at the very bottom of the barn was this young woman looking up at me. Her eyes looked huge behind a pair of thick glasses, she was looking at me with a huge, open mouth as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. A butt naked girl, the same age as her trapped on the ceiling by some rope."
"Harriet?" I asked.
"Harriet," the older woman answered with a smile, "My grandpa never told me that the woman's great niece was going to stay at the house, try and take care of it for however long she was going to be in the hospital for. She was the first person to see me completely naked as an adult, I wasn't exactly expecting to be caught."
"Did you know? Like she was the one you wanted to be with? Was it love at first sight?"
"Oh, no. I didn't think anything about sexuality back then. The way I saw it, men and women married and that was it. Harriet was the straightest person I ever knew, she covered her eyes and apologised after she saw me naked. She was the one to apologise to me, despite the fact I was the one in the nude, tied up and in her great aunt's barn."
"That's sweet, though."
"Then I stuck to her like glue. She helped me get down and then we spent that entire summer looking after her aunt's place. The way my grandpa saw it, it was just two friends hanging out with each other, I think that's how Harriet saw it at first too… I knew it was more than that, but I didn't know exactly what it was. "I loved spending every moment I could with her, I loved teasing her and seeing her face go all red. Sometimes I would intentionally say or do things just to get a reaction out of her, but in the end we still loved being in each other's company. One time, we were working in the garden when I slipped and fell into some wet mud-"
"Oh god!" I said, accidentally interrupting.
"I tried to carry on working, my face and the entirety of front just caked in the stuff. Harriet kept telling me to go inside and get changed, her exact words were 'Get out of those dirty clothes', and so I did. I went inside and then came back out wearing absolutely nothing but a pair of gardening boots and gloves. Harriet screamed at me to actually put on clothes, it wasn't anything she hadn't seen at this point, but she covered her eyes and refused to carry on working until I was decent. I refused to go inside and get changed, so I carried on working."
"What happened?"
"Well, she went inside in an absolute huff, yelling at me the entire time until she was inside. I loved getting her that angry, but I carried on working. I didn't care that it was chilly and that my grandpa could have visited at any time, but I stayed outside completely naked, pretending I was fully dressed. "Then, I hear footsteps next to me and Harriet walks passed and carries on working like nothing happened… except for the fact she got changed too, she was completely naked wearing nothing but boots and gloves. Just getting back to work as if nothing was different."
"Harriet did that? Our Harriet?" My jaw almost hit the floor, the pain was nearly numb at that point.
"That's when I knew, seeing Harriet's naked body for the first time, I knew I was in love with her. All the teasing I was giving her, all the need to be at her side was just my head telling me that she was the one, she was the woman I needed to spend the rest of my life with. "However, I wasn't going to give in so easily, so I continued working. So for a short while, there were two women completely naked, working in the garden whilst they pretended they were both dressed and nothing was out of the ordinary… then the heavens opened up. It rained so heavily and so quickly, giving us no time to react to the sudden outpour onto our nude bodies, we ran into the closest shelter; which was the barn. Then… then we hugged each other, embracing the other not caring about the fact our bodies were touching… then…"
I noticed the older woman slowly became red, fanning herself with her hand as the memories of what happened next occupied her mind.
"Oh… where's Jade gone?" she laughed it off, "Feels like she's been gone ages."
"Sounds like a beautiful moment you both had," I smiled.
"Oh, what I would do to relive that moment again. There has been nothing that compared since, it was so erotic, so passionate, so…"
The truck door opened up with a bang, causing both Beth and I to jump, bringing the pain back to my ankle. I screamed out, reaching out for the damaged part of my body. Jade ran in with an ice pack in her hands with Samantha following close behind her, the crew member held a box that was labelled 'Ankle Support'.
"I've brought both, I didn't know which one you needed more," Jade said in a breathless tone.
Beth chuckled, "Thank you, Jade. They will both come in handy."
Sadly, Samantha came in with ankle support and some bad news. There were two last minute participants who the judges wanted to see so we didn't get the results of who was accepted at the Pony Trials, during the painful moments where Beth administered the ice pack then wrapped my ankle up, Samantha told us that there would be a week or two wait until the results were finalized, we would receive a letter after that time to confirm if I had a place or not.
Beth both damned the judges for the way they were running the event and understood the complete professionalism of the judges, as they wanted to keep up the image that the Pony Trials provided, being one of the highest authorities in this area. I stopped caring at that point, with the way my ankle was, all I wanted to do was get to the comfort of my home, something Beth was more than happy to make true for me.
The ride home wasn't nearly as quiet as the drive to the arena. The sun began setting on the horizon, causing the beautiful blue sky to burn with a bright orange. Jade fell asleep almost immediately, the poor girl had a long week, but I couldn't find the energy to sleep. I was more interested in the stories Beth had. Once I got my foot in a comfortable position, I begged her to carry on, to fill the journey with the stories between her and Harriet. She did so, loving every moment of watching me listen to every single word she said. She told me mostly of that summer, when they realised how much they cared for each other, spending days teasing one another and having her aunt's house all to themselves. It allowed them to experiment and get to know each other even further.
The world eventually went dark, the familiar lights of the town on the horizon came into view and the stories eventually ended. We travelled up the streets we saw everyday, until we finally reached Chloe's apartment.
"Okay, here you are," Beth said, parking the van as close as she could.
"Thank you so much for today, Jade? Are you coming in?" I asked, looking at the sleeping girl next to me.
"I think it might be a good idea if you two spend the night in your own beds, I am more than happy to drop Jade off at her own place. You two have had a busy day, a busy week in fact and I think you need to catch up on some well-deserved rest."
"Oh, yeah I think that's wise."
"Are you okay to walk in? Do you need my help?"
I shook my head, "I'm fine, I can walk no problem with my ankle strapped up. I shouldn't think it would be a problem."
"That's good. Hey, kid… you did good today, both of you. I'm proud of what you've achieved in such a small amount of time, I know it's a short wait to find out if you've got in, but it will be here before you know it."
"Thank you, Beth. Thanks for everything you've done for us."
Both Beth and I embraced each other. As the older woman got out of the vehicle to let me out, I went over to Jade and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before I finally left.
"Goodnight, babe," I whispered.
"Y-yeah… goodnight, Heather," Jade muttered, I wasn't even sure if she knew she was saying goodnight to me or if it was her dream state reacting to me.
Beth helped me out of the vehicle, being very careful not to damage my already damaged body even further.
"So… you and Harriet," I asked, feeling the cool night air hit my face, "If you two were so close, why weren't you together when I first came here? It seemed like you were more of a friend than her lover."
My eyes widened as soon as I said that, realising what the actual words meant that left my lips. It was harsh and to the point, coming off as a little uncaring.
Beth smiled, "Oh, life got in the way. Harriet's aunt never left the hospital, that was hard on her. When she passed, Harriet became distant and quiet… not just to me, but to everyone. She focused entirely on fixing the property up and sold it as soon as she could, then she left and moved back to the city. "We kept in contact, but the next time I saw Harriet she was engaged to be married to some guy, they were together for a while and then I met someone. A few marriages later… a few divorces and then we met back up, older and wiser but still the same two people."
"That's a shame… surely you would have wanted those years with her."
"Of course I wanted them. However, life isn't always like that, I'm enjoying the time I have with her, savouring every minute, every hour I can. To you, she might look like some old woman with greying hair and crows feet… but to me I still see that beautiful girl I spent the summer with, holding me in our arms as our naked bodies were touching and the heavy rain outside kept us close together."
I smiled, there were no words to say after that.
She smiled wider, nodding her head, "Goodnight, Heather. Make sure to get plenty of rest tonight."
"I will."
The van door creaked open as Beth got back into it. The engine roared to life and the vehicle began travelling down the street, slowly getting quieter and quieter until I was left on my own once again. Then, it occured to me that the feeling of weight on my shoulders had faded and didn't return, I was no longer anxious about the future, I no longer had the dread that the schedule provided me. The audition was now in the past and there was nothing more to worry about, I could focus on my life, on Jade and enjoy the time I had at the stables… yep, not a single worry on my mind… apart from the ache from my ankle.
"Hey, you're back, how did it go?" Chloe ran to the door seconds after I opened it.
The light from the apartment was a soothing feeling in contrast to the dark world outside. I eased my body through the door frame and gladly closed and locked it behind me. Giving my roommate a cheeky smile as her eyes glanced down at my well strapped foot.
She brought her hands to her cheeks, "Oh! What happened to you?!"
She instantly ran over to me, placing herself underneath my arm and helped me walk to the sofa.
"I didn't exactly land on my foot when we finished the routine; seemed that my ankle wanted to meet the ground," I chuckled.
"Oh, poor thing. How bad was it?"
"It was awful, the pain was unbearable, but I don't think the judges noticed."
"Did you get in?"
Umm… I'm not sure yet. There were some last minute entries and the judges had to see them before they give off the results, I should know in a week hopefully… maybe two weeks."
"I'm sure you did amazing. You looked great when we saw you practising… oh," Chloe looked around, "Is Jade not coming in?"
I shook my head, "No, Beth thought it would be best if we spent the night apart and got some rest… sounds like a wise choice actually."
"Well, it looks like it's just us then. Lily isn't coming over either, she had to study."
I laughed, "I forgot you were dating a college girl."
"Oh, stop it. Okay, I'm ordering pizza, how about we have a movie night? Haven't had one of those in ages."
"That sounds perfect."
Chloe let out a giggle, "Just me and you… I can't remember the last time its been just us, feels like a lifetime ago."
"Lily's been around alot since you two got together, so it must have been before then."
"Yeah… must have been. Okay, I'll order the pizzas soon, was there anything you needed at all? You aren't in too much pain, are you?"
"I'm good, Beth took care of all that for me."
"That's good of her," she said before she took out her phone.
I watched her as she ordered the takeout, as she talked on the phone she played with her hair out of nervousness, rolling her index finger through the strands. Talking to people on the phone wasn't something she was too comfortable with, but she was getting better at it. Occasionally, she glanced over towards me, smiling then looking away as she tried to focus on the conversation she was having.
Each time I saw that smile it melted my heart. Chloe was the first person I ever met that cared for me without any reason to, she didn't want anything from me, she never asked for anything. She just cared and loved because that was the kind of person she was, she let me into her home, into her life with open arms and never asked for anything in return. Caring without conditions, a sensation that still felt foreign to me after all this time.
"Done," Chloe grinned, throwing her phone onto the sofa, "Dinner should be here within half an hour, would you like a drink? I can make you one then I can help get your shoes off."
I nodded. The ache I felt this morning returned, the sensation that came over me when Beth was telling Jade how I felt about myself. The fact that I didn't deserve this, I didn't deserve my friends, the job that I had and all this love being thrown at me. The hardest one for me was the thought that I was taking advantage of Chloe's hospitality, that I asked for her help because I knew she was a kind-hearted person that would come to my rescue.
She smiled and hummed to herself as she got our drinks ready, unknowing of the internal battle I was having with myself. Everything was going so well, for the first time in weeks I had everything off my chest, I didn't have a single worry in my life… apart from this one last thing.
I pulled myself up from the sofa, trying not to show the pain on my face from the dull ache in my ankle. Chloe noticed this and ran towards me from the kitchen, trying her hardest to ease me back down on the piece of furniture.
"Heather, try and take it easy," she said, placing her arms gently on mine, "You'll had a long day, try and rest."
"There is something I need to tell you, Chloe," I interrupted, "I need to tell you this."
"I'm sure it can wait, whatever it may be."
"It can't… I need to tell you something, something I've been meaning to tell you since I got here."
"…Heather."
"I…I don't want you to hate me, but you need to know." I breathed in, trying to keep the tears from forming for the third time that day, "I… asked to move in with you because I knew you would help me. I took advantage of your kindness and generosity, but I didn't have anyone else…"
"What do you mean?"
"I knew you would help me, you were always so kind to me when we were both at college. You were so excited when we spoke on the phone for the first time, I could hear it in your voice. You were so happy to have me come stay with you, but I was talking to you because I had nowhere else to go… I'm sorry."
The room went silent. Chloe stayed exactly where she was, keeping her arms on my shoulders.
"I…" she stuttered, "Excuse me, Heather. I don't see the problem."
She smiled softly, it was a smile that both comforted me and broke my heart at the same time. She didn't understand that the reason I was there, the reason I was standing in her apartment at that moment was because I was taking advantage of her generosity.
She continued, "I think you are looking at this all wrong. You aren't taking advantage of me because I let you live with me, I was more than happy for you to stay… I knew things weren't great for you."
"But… I knew you would help me."
"Yes, but you are looking at everything in the wrong way. You needed help, you needed someone and you came to me. I know that I might not have been your first choice, or even second… but you asked me for help and I wanted to help you, I wanted to help out my friend. You are not taking advantage of me, you are here because I want you to be here and I am sure if I was in your position then you would have helped me too."
"I… yeah, I would have… but."
"Then there are no buts, you have nothing to be sorry for. You've come back into my life and everything is for the better, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Don't worry then and please stop beating yourself up. You are surrounded by people who love you, let us love you. Our care for you is not conditional and never will be. You don't owe us a thing, just continue being Heather."
"I… thank you, you are so sweet," I chuckled, wiping away the tears.
"I am a delight, now get your butt back on that sofa and let me take care of my friend."
She helped me back down. Despite the tears, it honestly felt good to get those thoughts off my chest. It was a dark thought that plagued my mind ever since that first day I came here and knowing Chloe thinks no differently about me despite how I viewed the situation managed to calm down that part of me. I felt good… I felt amazing. My leg might have been in a strap and there might have been a sharp pain when I moved that limb, but there was nothing more to worry about, not a single thing; life was good.
Chloe placed a cold drink on the coffee table in front of me, she then joined me on the sofa, gently grabbed my legs and leant them across her lap before slowly taking my shoes off. She was smiling the entire time, showing me that she was happy I was there… I didn't have to earn her love as it was given to me without anything in return.
"I owe you so much," I whispered.
Her face lit up, "You don't owe me a thing, you're a good friend."
"You feed me, you look after me, you go above and beyond. How am I supposed to just do nothing in return."
"Well… I wouldn't say no to one thing."
"Name it, I will do anything for you."
She licked her lips as the next sentence that came out of her mouth took a little longer to appear, "I… I do have a TV in my room, we could always have movie night in there?"
I chuckled, "What do you mean?"
"I mean spend the night in my bed."
"Oh… OH!" That sentence startled me slightly.
"I don't mean in the same way you and Jade go to bed, and I really don't mean in the same way you spent the weekend with Saffron and Abigail."
"Then what do you mean?"
"I mean… I just want to spend the night with my friend. I'm not asking for anything to happen, I just… sorry, I don't know what I mean."
"Would Lily be okay with that?"
"Yeah, she would. I'm not asking to sleep with you, I'm just asking to share the bed for the night. I… I don't like the thought of going to bed alone, but I'll understand if-"
"Yes," I interrupted her.
She looked back in complete shock, "Y-yes?"
"Yes, let's go to bed together."
"Would Jade mind?"
"She wouldn't. Plus, I think she would get a kick out of it in some strange way."
Chloe grinned, "Thank you."
She was so warm. Having her body lay up against mine was a blissful experience, her soft skin made its home on top of mine as her head rested on my chest. It hadn't been long since the food arrived before we made our way to the bedroom, seemingly both as interested in this 'experience' as the other, I didn't even care what film we watched, I just wanted the sensation of the girl against me.
What we were wearing didn't last too long with our clothes scattered across the floor leading up to the bed, only having our underwear cover our nude bodies when we took shelter underneath Chloe's blanket.
She giggled quietly to herself, "I can hear your heartbeat… it's fast."
Of course it was fast. She was on top of me, her voice was the most sensual I had ever heard it before. I breathed in the moment her palm covered my stomach, gently moving her hand in a circular pattern but it never left my belly. My hand was on her back, resting on the side, just inches away from the lace pattern of her cute underwear.
The film was only on for a few minutes, but it was clear out attention had already moved elsewhere. Her hand could move upwards towards my bra, easily going underneath towards my breasts, or it could as easily move downward towards my underwear, the light material wouldn't hold off her wandering fingers for long. I could just as easily travelled my hand downwards, I'm sure my hand could easily separate her underwear from her pale skin.
All these thoughts went through our minds. My body was exhausted, my mind was almost the same way, but it was desiring something more than sleep at that moment The fact that either of us was too shy to move our hands was somehow more sexy then if we were making out or having sex, it was a natural tension of what was expected of either of us at that point and the expectation of what was to come.
It was… it was…
She moved, Chloe adjusted her body upwards, placing her head on my shoulder as her hand moved onto my chest, resting on the bra right between my breasts. With her head so close to mine, I could feel the warmth of her breath on my cheek, the soft sighs of a nervous Chloe echoing into my ear.
I turned towards her, matching her eyes in mine. Wow… I didn't realise how beautiful they were… They were telling me that they wanted me, they needed me at that exact moment. Her eyes fell and her head moved forwards, our lips gently bumped into each other as a light kiss happened between them, then they moved in further. They were so light… Why was that so sexy? My hand rubbed up and down her back at the same time I moved in closer, but each time I moved in closer, she pulled away trying to keep the tension the same between us.
Our foreheads touched, keeping our lips separated, but it was clear that she wanted me as much as I wanted her at that time. Her breathing was heavy, her chest moved up and down, highlighting her breasts that were hidden from me. I wished I could pull it off and explore her body further. Was this what she wanted too? I moved my head to the side and kissed her once again, this time she brought her hands up and held my cheeks, pulling in for a heavier kiss, allowing me to explore my tongue alongside hers.
My hands couldn't resist anymore, they travelled up her body towards her bra strap, my fingers unclasped the hook holding them together and the material hung freely. Once our lips disconnected once more, allowing me the time to remove the bra entirely from her person, an act I was surprised she didn't cease from me doing. Oh… wow. Her breasts were so cute, they were pure, pink and puffy. Somehow the sight of them made my mouth salivate, I wanted to lick them, bite them and suck on them as the sensation brought joy to my friend. I couldn't just go down there, as much as her eyes were telling me that she wanted me too. The kissing started once again, this time I planted it on her neck, just below her ear and began moving downwards, kissing every single second before I began to feel the softness of her breast on my lips. I was so close, her breathing heaved and quickened, I felt her nipple gently graze my lips as I prepared to take it into my mouth.
*Buzzt* *Buzzt* *Buzzt*
"What's that?" Chloe asked breathlessly, "Is that your phone?"
I lifted my head up, annoyed that something from the outside world would stop this moment between us, "Yeah it is, don't worry about it."
"Who would be calling at this hour?"
"I don't know, just ignore it."
"You better take it."
I groaned, "I don't want to stop, I'm enjoying this."
She gave me a cheeky smile, "I'm not going anywhere, take it."
I groaned again, lifting the woman off me as I leant over to the floor. I grabbed my jacket, where the pocket the held my phone was being illuminated by the bright screen. There was a collection of numbers on the screen that I did not recognise, I pressed the green 'Answer' button and held the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked, lying back down on the bed. Chloe rested herself on me, gently kissing my neck and chest area.
"Oh, hi… Is this Heather?" An older male voice buzzed on the other side.
I began playing with Chloe's hair, already wishing this conversation was over so we could continue where we left off, "Yeah, this is Heather speaking."
"Hi Heather. It's Hamish, your mother's boyfriend? I don't know if she told me about you when you spoke?"
"Hey, yeah she did. Is she alright?"
"Umm… no, I am going to be honest with you. Your mother has become very ill since we've come home…" His voice was serious, yet there was a hint of nervousness and worry in his tone, "She said she wants to see you, I can send you the address of the hospital she is in… I'm sorry that it is a fair distance from you."
"S-she's going to be okay though, right?" I sat up.
"I… I don't think so. I don't know how much longer we will have with her I'm afraid… she's become very weak since coming back… she wasn't in a good state before."
The world went dark. It felt as if there was a massive spotlight on myself whilst everything else in existence lived beyond the void, just like at the arena earlier. Even Chloe was sucked into the darkness and she was lying on the bed next to me. His voice went on and on about how serious the situation was with my mother.
"She… she really wants to see you, Heather. I really don't know how long we have left with her."
"Heather?" Chloe asked quietly, "What's wrong?"